For some of us, new relationships come with a sense of urgency. We’re eager to reach the next big milestone, especially as we get older. This same feeling of immediacy can cause us to push too hard or come on too strong, putting a strain on the fragile bonds formed in the early days. If you’ve ever been accused of being too intense, here are some tips to ensure that your next relationship isn’t smothered in its infancy.
1. Step Away From the Cell Phone – In our constantly-connected society, it’s easy to flood a new partner with Facebook wall posts, texts and emails from a cell phone. While keeping a line of communication open is vital, it’s equally important to allow a new relationship some breathing room.
2. Spend Time With Friends – Don’t be a cliché by ignoring your friends in favor of a new honey. If you have a long-standing tradition of poker with the boys or girl’s night margaritas, keep it. Your friends will be more likely to accept a mate that doesn’t take up all of your time, and these outings will give the two of you something to talk about the next time you get together.
3. Focus On Your Hobbies and Favorite Pastimes – Losing yourself completely in a new relationship can easily be the kiss of death; your interests and pastimes are likely a big part of what attracted your new mate. Letting them fall to the wayside to spend every moment together leaves very little material for conversation and can cause your lover to feel stifled.
4. Avoid “The Talk” – It’s natural to wonder where a new relationship is headed, but it’s a good idea to hold off on having “The Talk” for a while. Letting things develop naturally can be a bit nerve-wracking, but it’s necessary.
5. Keep It Light – In the early days of a relationship, it’s best to avoid the heavy plans for your future and talk of marriage and children. Don’t introduce your long-term plans when a coupling is new, or it may not last very long.
6. Be Careful With the Booze – There’s a reason why alcohol is also called “Truth Serum.” One phone call after a night of drinking can undo all of your cautious work when you’ve just started dating someone.
7. Don’t Change Your Plans – Before you met your new love interest, you probably had some long-term goals and plans for your future. Avoid the temptation to change those plans to suit a brand-new relationship; despite how you feel in the honeymoon phase, there is always a chance that things won’t work out.
8. Keep Your Priorities Straight – Though it’s difficult in the first blush, try to keep your priorities in line. Don’t let your new relationship take a toll on your work or other obligations, as it can very easily cause resentment when things inevitably begin to cool down and you’re forced to play catch-up.
9. Don’t Play Mind Games – When things aren’t moving as quickly as you’d like, don’t resort to passive-aggressive mind games. Slyly referencing others that are interested in you or the ex that still has feelings will almost always blow up in your face.
10. Hold Off On Introducing the Family – Even if you have the most welcoming and interesting family on the planet, your new love interest shouldn’t be meeting them for a while. Family members will ask questions that you may not be ready to answer, which will put undue pressure on you both.
No matter how desperately you want to find “The One,” it’s always best to go with the flow and let things develop naturally. If your new lover feels stifled, they are more likely to lose interest altogether.
Copyright © 2012 – www.BestDatingSites.org. Reprinted with permission.
Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.
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