Working together in a love relationship to get your individual needs met and the mutual needs of the relationship and not have expectations about how those needs get met will always generate new things to talk about. Having expectations about how your needs get met is not only unrealistic it is an unhealthy attitude.
For example, if I expect you to love me a certain way and your love doesn’t show up that way for me, I will most likely be disappointed.
A better way might be to have your need for being loved fulfilled by allowing your love partner to love you the way they love you. Being okay with how they love you creates a sense of adventure; it creates new and exciting possibilities for the two of you to experience together. Often challenges show up.
However, when two people really love each other and are committed to work together, challenges like these create the kind of conversation that empowers both love partners to continue to self-inquire. They then choose to investigate their curiosities about what they can do to stand together, to be challenged by this new way of being and know that everything is going to be okay.
Copyright © 2011 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.
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