Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Angry? Don’t Take is Out on Your Partner!

Filed under: Anger Issues — Larry James @ 7:00 am

It is always possible for you to direct the energy of anger in another completely different direction, even though it may not seem so at the time.

The same energy you expend on anger, when re-directed, can be put to use in a much more useful direction. Think about it. If you choose to shorten your attention span on what makes you angry, you can immediately put that same energy to use by focusing on the solution to the upset that caused the anger in the first place.

Anger hurts most whoever is angry. Choosing to be angry is choosing to suffer. Suffering is always optional. Only express your anger to get it out, not to win. In a healthy love relationship, expressions of anger are always followed by expressions of love.

Anger spills over into all areas of your life. Unresolved anger transfers to others you are in relationship with. Anger, when released, without dumping on your relationship, is good. Anger is not bad. We only call it bad because we feel its negative energy. It is only bad when we express it in hurtful and thoughtless ways.

Being angry is not living in the present. Anger only represents something from our past; something that already happened. The wise thing to do is to be present to our anger; acknowledge it. Don’t wallow in it. Create a new intention; to move through it. We must never allow anger to use us. Allowing anger to use us, robs us of the power we need to move forward. Instead, we must use its mighty energy to move us to the other side. There we will find only love.

When we are angry our feelings change from moment to moment. Anger produces feelings that are unreliable. Our feelings often rise and fall as our energy is drawn from the unstable emotions present when anger is being expressed. In those moments our feelings may not be the most reliable source of information to help us move past it.

Before you blow up, cool down.

Copyright © 2011 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

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