Larry James' BLOG

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Remember FUN?

Filed under: Dating,Having FUN,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:00 am

Relationships should be fun! Remember when you were first together? You both had fun with your relationship as you were getting to know each other. Has the work of a romantic relationship caused your “fun button” to stop working?

There is a line in the “romantic” wedding ceremony I preform that goes like this: “Never stop doing the things that brought you together in the first place!” You DO remember back that far, don’t you? 😉

couplepillowfightIn the beginning relationships are fun, exciting, and healthy, and they make you feel good. The fun things you did initially in a new relationship after a while can be taken for granted or simply fall by the wayside and you stop creating the fun and joy.

What you take for granted disappears! Relationships flounder when partners take each other for granted. Taking someone for granted, breeds disrespect, resentment and becomes a wedge between two lovers. Then comes the drifting apart you once feared.

Falling in love is easy. For some, it’s the relationship that is hard. It doesn’t have to be that way if you remember the that relationships are something that must be worked on all the time, not only when they are broken and need to be fixed. Having a good relationship requires effort. I have never heard of a relationship that hasn’t had a few bumps in the road. If your relationship is faltering – especially in the fun department – you would be wise to take some immediate action to fix it. If you want to reclaim that sense of wonder, adventure and trust, call a relationship coach.

What happens when your relationship isn’t “fun” anymore? I’m sure you would like an honest answer to that question so here goes: it is often the beginning of the end. Boring can set in. It is often that way because couples haven’t intentionally figured out what would be something fun to do. You want to avoid becoming bored at all costs. You can avoid boredom by intentionally planning some new fun things do do together. If you’re not able to chill and have fun with your partner, perhaps it may be time to start looking deeper into the relationship and question whether there is something bigger going on.

“Not only do our thoughts and feelings affect the way we act, but the way we act affects our thoughts and feelings.” ~ William James

My experience as a relationship coach has shown that time and time again, is that couples – for a multitude of reasons – have stopped having fun together. If you stop having fun together, you will eventually stop wanting to be together. Healthy love relationships should be fun for both partners.

beachfrolicBeing in a committed relationship shouldn’t mean that you forget about having fun. Relationships should be fun not hard work. Collaborate to have a healthy ratio of fun to go with all the other responsibilities of a healthy relationship.

Want a healthy love relationship? Prioritize fun! Put it high on your list. Play together. Be a kid again. Frolic together. Romantic adventures can be something that help us grow closer together. Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean that you stop playing. Spontaneity for adventures together or just cuddling and lightening up can be fun for couples.

Go back to the beginning of your relationship and make some new promises about beginning again and this time… keep your promises about having fun together. Fun is one of the key ingredients to making and maintaining great, long-lasting relationships.

Sometime soon, sit down with your partner and ask, “What can we do for fun?” Each of you should make a list of 15 or more things that you might consider to add some fun to your relationship. Next, go about adding some of these fun things to your romantic repertoire. If something on your partner’s list is something you never would have tried before, the rule is: don’t complain, just do it and have fun together. When you get to the end of the list, make a new list of things to do that are genuinely fun. Resist the temptation to fill your fun time with conversation about work, bills, or to-do lists. Use the time wisely. Use it to enjoy your partner.

There is always a need for spontaneity, fun, and enjoyment in a relationship. It’s up to you to make it happen.

Schedule a time for fun. You may have to “make time” for fun. Fun brings enjoyment to the relationship. All good relationships have some element of fun. Fun enhances and strengthens your relationships. Have at least one night each week for a date night. Let nothing prevent your weekly get together. If you have children, loan them to a trusted friend for the night. Mark this date on your calendar and protect that time slot. This commitment demands an honest and purposeful decision to have fun together on a specific day. Make having fun a priority. The depth of meaning, understanding and appreciation that follows is worth it.

Laughter is also good for creating a positive mood for fun. Maintaining a sense of humor helps too!

Let the fun begin!

BONUS Articles: Kidding Around With Romance
Need Some Romantic Ideas?
Get Your Flirt On!
The ABC’s of Celebrating Love
The Essence of Romance

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2011 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – and

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.


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