Larry James' BLOG

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Plan Some Romantic Rituals for Your Relationship!

Filed under: Personal Growth,Romance,Romantic Tips! — Larry James @ 7:00 am

A romantic ritual is usually something you decide on together; some specific behavior – something that you do with or say to the other, intentionally; and make an important part of your established routine. Creating a relationship ritual requires intention, deliberate choice and a specific action and a willingness to honor it with your undivided attention. Rituals add “spark” to your relationship! They demonstrate your interest in your partner.

There are daily rituals (kissing goodbye before leaving in the morning – not just a peck on the lips but a real kiss!), bedtime rituals, weekly, monthly and yearly rituals. As example of a daily ritual might be to promise each other that you will express your love orally by saying, “I love you,” out loud at least once a day, or tactility, e.g., a kiss, a hug, a back-rub, etc. Romance rituals can be as simple as lighting a few candles, playing your favorite romantic CD or saying “thank you” for the special way your partner causes you to feel when they __________ (fill in the blank). Some people find burning candles creates a feeling of serenity and spiritual blessing.

candleheartsI recommend at least one weekly ritual and that is to always find time to plan one night each week to be together. A once-a-week date-night with just the two of you can do wonders for your relationship. Dinner and movie is fine but why not try something new, like going skating, or swinging in the park? Put your “thinking cap” on and come up with some new ideas.

If you have children, at least once each month, have a trusted friend take the kids for an overnight. A Friday night date-night helps you to reconnect with each other after a busy work week and will help get you in a relaxing mood for the weekend.

“Love is NOT enough! It takes conscious, intentional time, attention and focus on your relationship and your sweetheart to insure that life, and other people and events don’t negatively impact the life that you love with the love of your life!” ~ Dr. Jackie Black, Ph.D.

Your rituals do not have to be involved, complicated or expensive. Sometimes simple is best. Who isn’t touched by the couple in their 70s strolling along simply holding hands? An unexpected lunch date can give you some time together; reaching out to touch your partner’s hand across the table. Sometimes when we allow ourselves to revel in the spontaneity of the moment we can discover new rituals. This sudden burst of inspiration is creativity in action. These gestures help build the emotional links you need with each other for the future.

“Being honest is also romantic and one of the foundations for a happy long term relationship. Being where you say you are going to be, being reliable, arriving at the time you said you were going to, ensuring that your words match your body language.” ~ Danielle Ollington

Birthdays and anniversaries make excellent rituals provided they include this important element of a true ritual – romance. Write and make your own birthday or anniversary card. Spend some time writing a few special words that have special meaning to your partner. Scatter fresh flowers several places throughout the house. Come up with something new to try each month. It could be learning a new skill, a new language, eating at a very special restaurant, or trying something new in the bedroom. Try a red light bulb in the bedroom. Experiment. Have fun!

Designate a separate calendar for your romantic ritual ideas and plans. Make planning your romantic rituals a priority. Do it together. The possibilities for romantic rituals are endless. The purpose is simple: rituals cause you to feel more closely connected. These intentional choices will help you strengthen your relationship, grow in closeness and commitment. Rituals also help to eliminate boredom. They will keep you looking forward with anticipation for the next event.

Never be too busy to preserve the love you have for each other. Use your imagination. The closeness you desire is enhanced through purposeful sensitivity, tenderness and mutual respect for each other. Each ritual should be designed to demonstrate compassion, forgiveness, gratitude, empathy, Love, tenderness, healing, patience and much more. You should be able to “feel” that which is within the ritual.

It might help if you had one of your yearly rituals be to schedule a relationship tune-up with a relationship coach. Relationship maintenance is important to the success of a healthy love relationship. The results of a survey in four states in the U.S., strongly suggests that couples who received premarital education had a 31% lower chance of divorce.

“Unique, shared rituals are an important part of the glue that holds couples together.” ~ Carol J. Bruess

Your partner is supposed to be your very best friend. Be sure you treat them like one! Rotate every-other-week by giving your partner a full-body massage with massage oil – one week it’s her turn, the next week it’s his.

Schedule a weekend trip to watch the sunrise. Take a drive to a place where you can bask in the serenity of the morning sun together. Snuggle up in a cozy blanket. Make it an intimate picnic complete with champagne and strawberries.

Create a Love Journal. Once each day think of something good to write about your partner – I repeat. . . only the “good.” Look for things that are compliments to your partner. Write them down. This ritual keeps you focused on looking for the good in each other. Once a year (of every six months – you decide) share your Love Journal with your partner.

One ritual that doesn’t necessarily have to include your partner would be to take time each day to do something special for YOU! Do anything that makes you feel special and appreciated. When you know how to appreciate yourself, someone else will too! When you are vibrant, alive, and feeling good, you’re showing your best self to the one that counts most. . . you!

loveheartCLoveLOGOCopyright © 2010 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – and

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.


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1 Comment »

  1. […] BONUS Articles: How To Keep Your Love Alive Ways to Relight the Flame of Love Need Some Romantic Ideas? Plan Some Romantic Rituals for Your Relationship! […]

    Pingback by Renew the “Contact” in Your Relationship | Larry James' BLOG — Sunday, June 2, 2013 @ 8:32 am | Reply

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