Larry James' BLOG

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

When You Look Into the Mirror. . . Who Do You See?

Filed under: Health & Wellness,Personal Growth,Self-Image — Larry James @ 7:00 am

When you look into the mirror. . .

self-imageDo you see someone who has wasted their life away? Do you see a person that is filled with hope or do you see a person that needs hope? What is your relationship like with yourself? Do you know who you are? How would you describe what you see when you look into the mirror? Who do you think you are? Do you like what you see? Can you look into the mirror and honestly say to yourself. . . “I love me!”?

Do you see insecurity or confidence? Do you first see the flaws or low self-esteem rather than what you like about yourself? How would you describe what you see when you look into the mirror? What is your relationship like with yourself? Do you see the person you always wanted to be?

Do you see someone who may be run down, tried, a failure, no good, not good enough, ugly, too tall, too short, too heavy, to thin, not enough intelligence, not enough success, not enough energy, or not enough happiness.

Nothing trumps honesty and authenticity! These questions need be explored. The truth of where you are on your path of evolution and growth will stare right back at you. The answers to these questions can reveal to you the areas in your life that need healing.

You don’t have to be “hot” or “attractive” to be a beautiful person. Outside the limiting story you tell yourself when you look into a mirror is an unspeakable degree of freedom – a freedom to be yourself – no longer pretending to be someone, someone else thinks you should be. That’s hard work!


Is the person you see in the mirror a distorted image of what you think about yourself?

I remember – at a particularly low point in my life – looking into a full-length mirror after exiting from the shower and just looking at myself. Then I surprised me by saying aloud, “Who the hell do you think you are?” “Who am I, really?” Then I cried.

That moment was a breakthrough for me. It was an “ah-ha” moment. When I began to look at the reasons why the tears came, I realized that up until then, I had been fooling myself. I was not who I pretended to be. I wasn’t even the person I wanted to be. I began a serious exploration of my self-image and began to make some major behavioral changes.

“Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time. What we really want is for things to remain the same but get better.” ~ Sydney J. Harris

whoareyouI worked on changing my thinking. Your physical body is truly a reflection of the thoughts you think. A thought doesn’t have any power in itself. Only you have the capability to remove or attach beliefs to any thought you think. Your beliefs. . . your faith in the thoughts make them powerful – and thoughts become the things.

I had what I call a lot of “negative self-talk.” I learned that what you think about and what you speak about is what you bring about. My life was a perfect design of what I had been thinking. I began to change that.


You may have to give yourself a little push toward a higher view of yourself.

I challenge you to do the same. Take a good look at yourself. Stare into your own eyes for a while. Discard any thoughts of who you think you are and slowly begin to discover the real you. What is it that you really like about yourself? Make a list of at least 10 things – no matter how insignificant you think they are – post the list on the mirror you look at in the morning and review the list everyday. That’s what I did.

Start with #1 at the top of your list and look yourself in the eyes and repeat what you have written that you like about yourself. Say it out loud. The next day do the same thing with #2. When you get to the end, begin again. From time-to-time you may want to expand your list. That is the exciting part of this process, because the better you begin to feel about yourself, the more you discover what you like about yourself.

“You have to learn to see the big picture. Get on track with the BIG picture and get ready for the ride of a lifetime! The image you hold of yourself otherwise known as your self-image is the view you hold in your head about who you are. As hard as you work to do and be more you will not and cannot ever outperform it. Your self-image is the limiting factor in your success.” ~ Matthew Britt

nathanielBrandenYou deserve to be and feel happy. That starts with loving the one you see in the mirror.

BONUS Article: You Will Never Outperform Your Own Self Image

Copyright © 2011 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

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1 Comment »

  1. Seeing a correct image of yourself is incredibly powerful because that is exactly how God works and He made us in his image. All creation was an imagination in the heart and mind of God before it came into being. All we have ever made was an image in our imagination too before it took on form and substance.

    I would say an even more powerful change comes over you when you learn to replace the false image of God that has been overlaid over Him by misrepresentation of false religions and men out for their own ambition and selfish gain. The only true Image of God was and still is Jesus.

    Comment by Mark Purves — Monday, April 23, 2012 @ 8:15 am | Reply

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