Even the most intelligent, cautious, well-minded people are not immune to occasional blunders. Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back… or that you could crawl into a hole?
She looks at him and says, “Does this dress make me look fat?” And I said, “You look terrific. You have such a pretty face.” She went on, “Thanks, but does it make me look fat?” And I said (in the most loving way I could), “You could stand to lose a couple of pounds!” or “How much do you weigh now?” or “Round IS a shape!”
Whatever possessed you to say things like that? Zip your lip! Some things are better left unsaid!
Hmmm. What was I thinking? Wrong answers. Pretty face? That is something you usually say to people who are overweight, suggesting that if they would only lose a few pounds, the rest of their body would look great too.
Guys do not want to listen to a girl’s insecurities about her body. She’ll make you wait 2 months for sex for that.
OR. . . Only touch, cuddle, or pay attention to your wife or partner when you are interested in sex. This is really really dumb. It screams, “Honey, I am really only interested in one thing. Otherwise, I don’t really find you all that interesting or enjoyable to be with.”
“Honey, are you staying on your diet?” Oops . . . I’’ll spend a few days in the doghouse for that one.
Words can make or break us, hurt or heal us.
After a guy’s wife lost a lot of weight he said, “You sure were one big girl.” Hmmm. He tried to compliment his wife for her weight loss but he blew it. He didn’t realize that she now knows how he really felt about her with those extra pounds. You have no idea how sensitive most women are about their weight, and as such making them feel worse about it is really not a good idea.
“You are being overly sensitive!” You should not say this because in their mind you are probably not being sensitive enough. At the same time it again implies that the problem is not valid.
Never look at another women (while you are with your partner) and say, “WoW! She’s hot!” She may take this as meaning hotter than her. While you may not associate these two statements as being on the same tier of stupidity, when she hears them as, “You’re not enough for me.”
“Honey can we talk?” “Can it wait until the commercials come on, I’m watching the game.” What was I thinking?
“You aren’t going to wear that, are you?” “Absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.”
“Are you acting like this because of PMS?”
“When is your baby due?” She said, I”m not pregnant!”
Ask yourself, “Do I compliment rather than criticize?”
Fighting over the dumbest things possible is called. . . stupid!
Sitting on the couch all day while your wife or partner is doing everything around the house is called. . . stupid!
We tend to seek out information that confirms our beliefs, but we ignore information that suggests we might be wrong. When we make a choice, we also make an emotional investment in that choice. Once we’ve done that, our minds try to protect us emotionally by deflecting any evidence that the choice might not be the right choice.
“We’ve always done it that way,” doesn’t mean we shouldn’t consider doing it different. There isn’t time to reconsider ever preference, habit and choice. Trouble is, we often assume that our previous choices must still be the right choices, rather than just the easy choices. When you catch yourself about to do something in the same way you’ve “always done it,” pause to reflect on whether it’s a good time for reevaluation.
Still thinking about making some positive changes? I hope so. . . and so does your partner!
“A year from now you may wish that you started today.” ~ Karen Lamb
Do you treat your partner the way you would treat your best friend? If not. . . why not?
Copyright © 2011 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.
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