Larry James' BLOG

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Can Modern Technology Mess Up Your Relationship?

Filed under: Communication,Video — Larry James @ 7:00 am

Modern technology is good thing! It often saves us time, and it can severely limit our ability to connect in a more intimate way to the people we love. While it might be good for business, it is not always great for our relationship!

Remember when dating simply meant a guy asking a girl for a date? Maybe he would call her up or maybe he would do it face-to-face. Today with e-mail, instant messages, texting, Facebook, LinkedIn, MySpace, Twitter, PDAs, iPads, iPhones, Blackberrys, other smart phones, social network sites user groups and other technology at our disposal things have really changed. We have found plenty of new ways to communicate and even more ways to mess it up. Where there’s a new technology, there’s a high potential of a relationship dissolving because of technology misuse.

I use technology a lot. We all do. Have you experienced the following scenario? You text someone or post a comment without thinking – on someone’s Facebook wall – and there’s that one person that takes the interaction completely out of context? The worst part is if they are your significant other or someone with whom you’re really close and it changes your interactions with them in real life. If you ask me, real life must take precedent over texting or Facebook.

Today it seems that the old-time intimate conversations of the past are fading away. I choose not to have this happen!

weddingcartoonThe world has become a place where I see people looking at their phones and laughing because the person next to them texted them. Really? “They are sitting NEXT to you! Look over, give them a smile and COMMUNICATE aloud with them!”

I love technology, but there’s just something missing when texting or Facebook messaging or whatever else someone is using is the only mode of communication.

It is easy for misunderstandings to occur through text messages. It’s impossible to hear the tone of the other person’s voice when texting.

Interpersonal communication is something that should be stressed to the younger generation because even people as young as high school and college students are spending way too much time on their cell phones or laptops and less time interacting in person.

Larry’s NOTE: A special “thank you” to Christie Maillet for contributing the following 6 “keep communication real” tips. Visit her Website at:

1. Spend less time texting and more time talking on the phone – the voice inflections are just as important as body language.

2. Limit your time communicating via laptop/computer. Spend time out with your friends hanging out and talking (but don’t text the whole time!)

3. Enjoy the moment. Don’t ignore the friend in front of you just because another friend texted you.

4. Don’t talk about serious topics over text message. Save those conversations for over the phone, or preferably, in person.

5. Don’t take anything too seriously over text message or IM. The only real way to know how someone meant to say something is to ask them on the phone or in person.

facebook-broken-heart6. The only way to get to know someone well is by spending time with them in person. Texting and Facebook messaging give you a false sense of “knowing” someone – if you don’t know their voice inflections or their body language, how do you really know if you’re that close?

It’s important to get back to the very foundation of good communication to truly know where we stand in the world. Hopefully if people actually get to “know” others and don’t let technology be a crutch, we won’t have to revert to The Matrix for reference someday.

Certainly if you are in a long-distance relationship it’s important to stay in touch. The technology rules are a little different for this kind of relationship. But be careful. It’s very easy to misinterpret the tone of a text message.


Hmmm. An example of a little of that modern technology above. 😉

BONUS Articles:Is Texting Adding Static to Your Relationships?
The Do’s and Don’ts of Texting In Relationships
5 Ways Facebook Changed Dating (For the Worse)

Here are some interesting stats about how Social Media is changing our world:

Copyright © 2011 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – and

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.


Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page:
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at:
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at:
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at:
Follow Larry’s “Author and Speakers BLOG” at:



  1. […] Articles: Can Modern Technology Mess Up Your Relationship? So… What About Bedtime? Do You and Your Partner Go to Bed at the Same Time? Challenge: A 24 Hour […]

    Pingback by 7 Tips to Sleeping Better and Feeling Energized Every Single Day | Larry James' BLOG — Monday, January 14, 2019 @ 8:31 am | Reply

  2. […] (and stay out) 69. Laugh together 70. Have a date night in 71. When you’re together – BE TOGETHER (take a break from phones, technology, etc) 72. Talk about your favorite memories together 73. Tell […]

    Pingback by 100 Ways to Make Your Marriage Rock | Larry James' BLOG — Thursday, October 24, 2013 @ 7:35 am | Reply

  3. […] BONUS Article: Can Modern Technology Mess Up Your Relationship? […]

    Pingback by Celebrate - 10 Reasons NOT to Text Your LOVER — A Celebration of Women — Wednesday, May 4, 2011 @ 3:53 pm | Reply

  4. […] BONUS Article: Can Modern Technology Mess Up Your Relationship? […]

    Pingback by 10 Reasons Not to Text Your Lover « Larry James' BLOG — Wednesday, May 4, 2011 @ 7:05 am | Reply

  5. I am really amazed all about your crazy and out of this world idea. When I first read the title it was fantastic – onto the body later – I like your thoughts! Thumbs up man!

    Comment by carlson — Wednesday, March 9, 2011 @ 9:43 pm | Reply

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at

%d bloggers like this: