Larry James' BLOG

Monday, December 27, 2010

So. . . What’s on Your Plate for Next Year?

Filed under: Relationship Goals,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:00 am

Since no one can guarantee that any of us will be here by the end of next year, why not create a “short-term” bucket list?

tickingThat’s right! A one-year bucket list. Just 12 goals; one for each month. So. . . what if you only had 1 year to accomplish 12 reachable goals that would forward the action of your relationship? Think you could do it? I know you can. Make each goal something you really want to do. Begin little and once you have accomplished smaller goals you can set your sight on larger ones.

I’m not talking about resolutions. It seems that resolutions are made to be broken. I’m not talking about a wish list. I’m talking about 12 short-term goals that you can take a stand for. Once you commitment them to paper, you keep your word by doing them. You only have to focus like a laser-light on one month at a time and you have a full month to accomplish each goal.

You may want to ask a close friend to help you stay on target. It’s even better if you and a friend can commit to each making a list. You don’t have to share your lists. Just let them know that it’s okay for them to ask about your monthly progress.

What are you hankering for your relationship next year? Think! Break some new ground. Gaze into the future. Use your brain power to imagine. You deserve the best. What would this next year look like? Name it and claim it! Begin your list today!

First of all, you have to have a good reason to accomplish each goal. Clarify! Know the purpose behind the promise you make to yourself to do it.

“Once you clarify your purpose for doing something, the way to do it becomes clear.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

steering-by-starlightDescriptive words will help you clarify your purpose. Martha Beck, author of “Steering by Starlight: Find Your Right Life, No Matter What!,” says, “Use adjectives to define your objectives. Words like, relaxed, joyful, secure, loved, rejuventated, emotionally energized, focused, delighted, healthly, fit, and replentished will help you translate holistic, right brain sensations into specific, left brain words. Focus on anything that can be described with your adjectives.”

size14+cartoonFor example, you may want to lose weight. Forget diets. Just eat less. I know. It’s not quite that simple and if you eat less, that’s a good start. Can you promise yourself to lose one pound per month? That’s 12 pounds for the year. Ask yourself, “Is this possible?” Of course it is. Beck adds, “If your goal is to lose 12 pounds – a noun-verb goal – and your adjectives are strong, confident and healthy, you might realize that your actual goal is to get fit.” Add “Join a weight loss center” to your list.

If you haven’t taken the time to read a good non-fiction book for a long time, your adjective might be to be better “educated” about __(fill in the blank)__! A relationship book might be a good idea. ūüėČ Next, head for the book store.

“The man (or woman) who does not read good books has no advantage over the man (or woman) who can’t read them.” ~ Mark Twain

If your adjective is to be relaxed, put “get a massage” on your list. If it’s to be “creative,” sign up for a class that will encourage you to step out of your “limited thinking” box to do something you haven’t done before. If it’s to be more “loving” to your partner, put “schedule a week-end get-away” on your list.

Design a blueprint for each month for a full year. Tweet it now and then. You may change your mind. Are there any old habits you are clinging to that zap your energy and keep you from working on your most passionate desires? Be flexible. Re-evaluate. If something else becomes more of a priority, either change your list or add it to a month where you have already achieved your goal.

“When you fail to hit the target. . . it is never the target’s fault!” ~ Larry Winget

What can you learn from what you did get done? What new strengths and skills did you learn? Working together on mutually beneficial relationship goals can help you fit the pieces of the relationship puzzle together in a healthy way.

When the year has ended and you have attained every monthly goal. . . go celebrate!

Scrape all your excuses and get started. Next. . . say, “Farewell to CAN’T!” Now, get moving! Full speed ahead!

BONUS Article:Relationship Bucket List

If you insist on making New Year’s Resolutions, you must read: “10 Ways To Make New Years Resolutions Stick” by Larry Winget


Copyright ¬© 2010 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – and

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