Larry James' BLOG

Monday, November 29, 2010

Value-Added Relationship

Filed under: Relationships — Larry James @ 7:00 am

Conventional business wisdom says that companies maintain market leadership by constantly adding value. Failing to do so is a sure path to demise.

The same principle can be applied to relationships. What are the characteristics that you bring to the party that can be of value or benefit to your partner?

What are you doing on a daily basis to add value to your relationship? To have a personal relationship with your partner, you must listen as well as speak. It’s important to be a very good listener and make your partner feel cared for and loved at all times. That’s a great place to begin. Do your best to separate interests and concerns from values. You can negotiate your interests but not your core values or your integrity.

Be caring, thoughtful, romantic, passionate and appreciative of your partner. Keep your attitudes straight. If you want to improve your relationship then value-added are two very useful words that will immediately put you on the right track. You must continually add value to your relationship if you want it to prosper and especially if you want it to last.

Remember. . . relationships do not maintain themselves. Both partners must forever be doing things that keep the fire burning.

“Many people fall in love, get married and work hard at adding value to their relationship for the first year or two. Then the couples get so used to being married that they start taking each other for granted and, without noticing what is happening, they get into the habit of adding less and less value. The man and wife then begin wondering what it was that attracted them to their partner in the first place, and if the situation is allowed to continue declining then one or both may start looking for the values they require outside the marriage.” ~ Gus Hansen

Assessing the value of your relationship necessitates a thorough inspection of all areas – especially the problem areas. Every relationship is prone to problems; that’s a given. Some relationships have more downs and practically no ups. If you notice an increase in your bickering, your first step should be to try to resolve the issues hampering your romantic bliss. Proceed cautiously. Don’t be to quick to decide to leave. If you really love each other, there is no issue that cannot be resolved. NONE!

A relationship should be able to add value to your life. If this is no longer true in your relationship, you both have some work to do. You must work together to better the relationship. Don’t wait. Get started today!

“What does your relationship balance sheet look like? Are you making regular withdrawals but neglecting to put anything back in?” ~ Scott Drummond

Come together. Work together to discover unique ways to add value to your romantic adventure.

Try this question the next time you need a conversation starter with your partner: “How can we add more value to our relationship?”

Remember everything you do either leads you closer or further from your relationship goal. Perhaps you might consider reinventing your relationship model to include some of the more than 50 ideas presented in this article.

Copyright © 2010 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

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1 Comment »

  1. I think a big problem is often that one of the partners wants out of the relationship and does nothing to keep the “balance.” The partner that wants to stay continues to try and add value without getting enough in return, and eventually feels hurt and resentful.

    If one person wants out, then usually there is nothing for the other to do but accept it and move on…

    Comment by Yvette Francino — Tuesday, November 30, 2010 @ 4:05 pm | Reply

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