A “relationship bucket list” requires that you focus on your relationship; that you come up with a list of things that you would like to do together. Everyone’s list is different and unique.
Unlike the movie, “The Bucket List,” staring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman you will not be making the list because you (or your relationship) is about the kick the bucket. In the movie, two terminally ill cancer patients, they take back control of their lives by creating a list of things they wish to accomplish before they pass. Among their last aspirations are laughing until you cry, visiting Stonehenge, and kissing the most beautiful girl in the World.
Using your creativity to put together a bucket list shows you and your partner that priorities are important to you. Your list is not a “kick-the-bucket list!” Writing a joint bucket list will help you feel more connected to your partner. You will feel the anticipation and excitement build as you build your bucket list together. Get out of your comfort zone. Push your thinking to the limits but place no limitations on your list.
Don’t just put whatever you both want on your list; put it in your life! Be your partner’s support system. Encouragement helps.
“Having a partner to do the bucket list with you is an absolutely amazing way to strengthen a bond, forging what could be a life long friendship. Not only will you share the experience of persevering and meeting your goals, but you’ll gain some great memories in the process. The number one most important thing about having an accomplice join you on your bucket list adventures is that you’ll have something to look forward to together. The reason why having a mutual bucket list, aside from your own personal bucket list is important is quite fundamental. When you share a mutual goal, your daily conversations will be geared toward the future goal, and toward the current steps necessary to accomplish this goal.” ~ Alex Shalman
Jot down all the activities you would like to do with your partner, whether they are immediately possible or not. Items on your list can be adventurous, weird, funny, sexual, emotional, physical, normal, not so normal, something new, or just about anything. Remember that you’re a team. . . you do this together. The bigger things on your bucket list, such as a trip to Italy, purchasing a Rolls Royce, or gambling at Monte Carlo, Monaco, give you a goal to work toward. Start a special savings account for the big things on your list.
You will most likely be surprised at some of the things your partner may suggest. Building the list together will open the door for some great discussion about your relationship and the things you both might like to do together.
Here are a few ideas to get the juices flowing:
• Go skinny dipping
• Watch the sunrise or sunset in your favorite part of the world
• Take dance lessons
• Go deep sea fishing
• Take cooking lessons together
• Go scubba diving in Bora Bora
• Volunteer to teach a class at a Community College
• Go on an African safari
• Have a summer fling (with your partner, of course)
• Charter a yacht for 2 weeks in the Carribbean
• Sing a duet at a karaoke bar – Have someone video it
• Begin keeping a journal
• Book an airline to somewhere special and join the Mile-high club 😉
• Stay overnight at a castle in France
• Renew your Wedding Vows in a Hot Air Balloon
• Do something that you both have been afraid to do
• Have photos taken at Stonehenge
• Call or tell someone everyday that you love them
• Take a special tip to where there is snow and build a snowman
• Run with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain
• Make a phone call to someone you haven’t talked with for years
• Meet a famous celebrity. . . someone you both would like to meet
• Take belly dancing lessons
• Write your memoir
• Write a letter to each of your children telling them what you want them to know about your life and the lessons you’ve learned
• Pay to take a spin around the track at the Indy 500
• Call in “well.” Take the day off for no reason and be spontaneous
• Go to your favorite mall and randomly give out $100 worth of $1 bills
• Learn how to play the piano
• Go white water rafting
• Visit all 50 of the United States
• Plan a voodoo pilgrimage in New Orleans or Haiti
• Eat a food that you have been afraid to try
• Spend all day in the library reading
• French kiss at the top of the Eiffel Tower
• Visit Las Vegas and pays some big bucks to see a special show
• Travel to the far north and see the aurora borealis
• Take an overnight train ride
• Hike the rain forest (with a guide, of course)
• Take a 2 week cruise
• Pay off all your debts – Cut up all your credit cards
• Take a foreign language – Russian, Mandarin, Arabic, Spanish
• Go rafting in the Grand Canyon
• Go to a political rally for a party other than your own
• Swim with Dolphins (not the Miami Dolphins)
• Visit Time Square on New Years Eve
• Have a picnic under a tree and watch the squirrels
• Read the Bible (the entire Bible)
• Agree to share with the housework
• Take a ride in a helicopter over the Grand Canyon
• Visit a farm and milk a cow
• Attend the Super Bowl, the World Series or the Kentucky Derby
• Make a list of 52 books you want to read and begin to read one book per week
“In my whole life, I have known no wise people (over a broad subject matter area) who didn’t read all the time — none, zero.” – Charlie Munger, Investment Manager and Philanthropist (Net worth: $1.7 billion USD)
• Visit a comedy club
• Get oiled up and give each othe a massage
• Mend a burnt bridge
• Join a health club and actually go there at least once a week
• Dine out at a restaurant you can’t afford
• Attend a weekend retreat together with a relationship expert
Don’t stop making your list. Cross things off as you accomplish them together, and always be adding something new. It’s exciting to have something to look forward to. Having a bucket list ensures your relationship will not “kick the bucket.” Agree to review your bucket list at least once each week.
“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” ~ Zig Ziglar
As you cross things off your list, you can look back and say “I lived life, I did things I wanted to do with my partner, we accomplished something together, we enjoyed the ride!”
A relationionship “bucket list” will definitely improve your marriage! Why? It helps you stay focused on each other. Communication will improve and more. What is on your relationship bucket list?
Copyright © 2010 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.
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