Feeling frisky. . . but no action! Okay, guys. . . pay attention!
Constance Gager, Ph.D., in a study of 6,877 married couples says, “For both husbands and wives, doing more work around the house increases the likelihood of having more intimacy together.
Possible reason: Spouses who divide the housework have more time and energy for sex. . . and working hard may signal a commitment to the home and marriage.
What to do: Share household work as well as other tasks in a way that satisfies both partners.”
Larry’s Note: Guys. . . it’s time to get serious about sharing the housework. Nowhere is it written that housework should be only and always a woman’s job. (And the women all say, “Amen!”). Being hedonistic in the boudoir keeps love alive! Foreplay begins with taking out the garbage without being asked!
Someone once said that women often fake orgasm because men fake foreplay! Couples who thrive in their experience of each other strive to seek the balance necessary for both to find mutual pleasure in their lovemaking. Both take full responsibility for getting what they want and giving what their partner needs.
A woman needs to feel loved to make love. Women need emotional support to be able to offer sexual release for a man. A man needs to make love to feel loved. Men need sexual release to be able to offer emotional support to women. Sexual communication is not only about expressing yourself. It is also about being received; being understood. Somewhere in between, there is balance.
Negotiate. Offer to meet the other half way to get your needs and the needs of the relationship met. Learn to respect and honor the differences. Vive la différence?
Until you have the courage and the commitment to fully engage in your relationship, to be so intentional about it that it becomes the highest priority in your life, genuine intimacy cannot occur. Sexual intimacy of the highest order only occurs when the heat of passion melts the barriers around your hearts. With the freedom to pursue that special closeness only committed partners know, two hearts will meld together in a dance of Divine love.
The passion of your relationship and your commitment to it will express itself in all other areas of your life, with family, friends and business associates. It spills over into everything you do. Every joy shared brings more love and loving. The enthusiasm you have for loving one another shines for the whole world to see.
The love, irrepressible desire and passion you share have their way of expressing generously back into the relationship and to all those around you. Happiness is catching.
Partners who are committed to spreading the joy of a healthy relationship will be more intentionally inclined and confidently dedicated to continue to work together. An additional reward is experiencing the erotic pleasures that become available in the sanctuary of the boudoir.
Note: Constance Gager is Assistant Professor, Family and Child Studies at Monteclair State University in Montclair, New Jersey.
Copyright © 2010 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.
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