Larry James' BLOG

Thursday, June 10, 2010

What’s the BIG Idea?

Filed under: Relationships — Larry James @ 6:00 am
Tags: , ,

hotideaWe’re talking about love and romance ideas. . . relationship ideas!

When is the last time that you actually thought about coming up with some new ideas that might help your relationship become the kind of relationship you would brag about to your friends? Think!

Ideas about love and romance are everywhere. Books, seminars, music, BLOGs, billboards, movies, other couples. . . everywhere! But what about the really “good” ideas? Where do they come from?

“The best ideas come out of the corner of our eye, the edge of our consciousness, in a flash. They are the result of misdirection and random collisions, not a grinding corporate onslaught. And yet we waste billions of dollars in time looking for them where they’re not.” – Seth Godin

Seth is really talking about BIG corporate ideas, but the same is true about relationship ideas.

I believe that you have to consciously look for new ideas if you want to find them. It doesn’t really take much time. You just have to discover a new awareness of relationships, make the discovery, apprehend the idea and make it your own.

Con·scious -ˈkän(t)-shəs
1 : perceiving, apprehending, or noticing with a degree of controlled thought or observation.

When I can let go of trying to find a new idea – but maintaining my awareness of relationships – like Seth said, “In a flash!” there it is staring me right in the face! My next BIG idea. That was easy. Some creative relationship ideas are just happy accidents. Give up your familiar reference points about how your relationship is and dare to do something different. You may have to take some practice shots before you score the point.

The idea for this article came to me after I went to bed. I was saying a prayer and got distracted. The distraction was that I had just come from performing a “Renewal of Vows” ceremony for a couple I married on May 14, 2005. The husband called me to arrange this ceremony as a surprise to his wife. When she found out why – after five years – she and her husband would suddenly run into me at Sassi Ristorante, Scottsdale, she got the biggest smile on her face. Her eyes sparkled and said, “I love you,” to her husband without a word being spoken. She was happy!

I thought: “What a great idea!” Then I started to wonder how many other men (and women) consciously look for big ideas to make someone they love happy? I got out of bed and began to write this article.

The intention is not to TELL you what the BIG idea is. The intention is to stir up your mind and get you thinking about what the next big idea for you and your partner will be. There is a certain buzz that you get when you embrace a new idea. You become rewarded with a renewed focus on the things that really matter.

Listen for hints. Turn on a radio at random times and listen for a “message.” Watch for signals that tell you what would help make your partner sparkle. In other words. . . pay more attention to your partner. Intentionally notice your relationship. Attend to it. Really BE in the relationship, not just be a part of it. Remember your dreams. Listen to your inner muse. Develop a passion to innovate. No passion for the relationship, no innovation. Idea innovation has to be embedded in your daily routine. It’s never to late to innovate. Grandma Moses started painting at 64.

Block off time each day for creative relationship thinking. Trust your imagination. Bring your project or challenge to mind before going to bed (you wouldn’t be reading this article had I not done this). Become your own relationship Ninja. Design your own relationship initiative, and stick to it. Don’t stop unless you want your relationship to grind to a gradual halt.

fedexlogoCreativity isn’t a mystical state. It’s a natural state. You ARE creative. You are gifted. Use your gift. The problem is your natural creativity is being obscured by your own habits of thought and a variety of other bothersome constraints. Your challenge is the same one as seeing the “hidden” arrow in the FedEx logo (look between the “E” and the “X”). The arrow has always been there, but most people never notice it. For creative people, the “white arrow” is often a moment that shows up quite unexpectedly. It’s not “on the radar.” It’s hidden from view. It’s not immediately apparent. And often that is where the breakthroughs reside.

If you think your idea isn’t good enough, you could be right, however run it by someone else to see if they can find something redeemable about your bad idea. Even a not-so-good idea can lead to an even better one. Now you’re tapping in to co-creation with someone else. That can be a good thing.

It is not passe to let go of your old paradigms. Break out the the old-way-of-thinking relationship box. Become more open-minded. Dare to try something new. Construct your own breakthrough in the relationship arena. Work toward an authentic commitment that drives meaningful change in your relationship. Become fully engaged.

Begin making a list. The list can be updated, added to, or subtracted from easily. People like lists. It’s fun to check off the things you have tried and add new romantic ideas to your list. There is great reward in the return on being imaginative.

So. . . what are you taking away from having read this article?

Pay attention to what shows up out of the corner of “your” eye!

Copyright © 2010 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – and

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James to your Facebook page:
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at:
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at:
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at:


Leave a Comment »

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at

%d bloggers like this: