Larry James' BLOG

Monday, April 19, 2010

Serve Others!

Filed under: Relationships — Larry James @ 6:00 am
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einsteinThere is nothing quite like serving others to temporarily get your mind off your own dilemma. Often the anxiety about your own stuff keeps you stuck. Instead of putting your own stuff at the top of your to-do list. . . put someone else there.

If you cannot get a handle on the things that tug at you for your attention. . . you’re stuck! Serving others for a change gets you into action and boosts your energy and enthusiasm.

It’s hard to get unstuck when you don’t follow through. Sometimes, you know what you need to do, but you just don’t do it, either because you’re not sure what step to take first, because of fear or because you know that once you take it, there’s no going back.

People who make it a habit of serving others always find themselves with a multitude of opportunities. They are happier and more emotionally fulfilled. They’ve essentially make a habit of helping people with whatever they need and they follow through. It becomes automatic. They don’t think, “What am I going to get out of this?” They just do it to please themselves.

The purest service to others is to help others without the expectation of reward. Consider serving anonymously. This can help you feel the pure joy of giving without concern for recognition or reward.

HelpingOthers1Create some accountability buddies. Collaborate. They will help you in your “serve others” projects and once you have them working with you. . . and once you’ve told them what you’re up to – you’re “hung by the the tongue!” Your friends will keep you honest.

Visit a friend in need. Take a buddy to lunch. Volunteer to help a needy organization. Do some charity work. There are many ways to do this through programs, organizations, clubs, groups, community associations and any other activities in your community.

The simple act of holding the door for someone is a great way to serve. Mow your neighbors lawn. Go out of your way to offer someone a sincere compliment. Give away books you’ve already read. Pay for a stranger’s coffee behind you in line. Pick up someone’s newspaper in the driveway and take it to their door.

When having a conversation with someone, give them you full attention and keep your cell phone out of sight. Never gossip. Eliminate complaints. Forgive a debt. Be friendly. Smile and say hello to strangers. Pick up trash in your neighborhood… you can do this with your children.

Often we subconsciously work though our own stuff when we take side trips to attend to others.

Be generous with your giving. Generosity does more than improve your world, it makes you feel better. Every time you give of yourself, you also give to yourself.

Make a contribution to your relationship by giving to others and your relationship will make a contribution to you. Serving others works best blended with realistic humility. Serving others doesn’t have to take a lot of time. Get your family involved. There are hundreds of ways to volunteer together as a family, ranging from quick projects at home to taking family volunteer vacations.

There’s power in serving others! The power I’m speaking of is power in terms of opportunity, namely that serving others will result in powerful opportunities coming into your life that you never would have thought possible.

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no person can sincerely try to help another without helping him or herself. Serve and you shall be served. If you love and serve people, you cannot, by any hiding or stratagem, escape the remuneration. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Copyright © 2010 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.

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