Larry James' BLOG

Monday, February 22, 2010

3rd 100 Tweets from Larry James’ Relationship Twitter!

I have posted the 3rd 100 Tweets (300 Relationship Tweets in all) on my once daily “Relationship Twitter” and thought you might enjoy reading all of them 140 characters at a time. All are adapted from my book, “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing.”

LoveNotes for Lovers is a collection of meditations, affirmations and reflections on love. A valued relationship is something you work on all the time, not only when its broken and needs to be fixed. LoveNotes for Lovers assists in that process.

lovenotesEvery LoveNote is but one more piece of the relationship puzzle. The design of LoveNotes for Lovers is to help people fit the pieces of the relationship puzzle together in a healthy way. Each one is a mini-lesson in love.

You will also see an occasional link that references an article I have written about that key word. Each link opens in a new window so you won’t lose your place.

You are welcome to use these “LoveNotes” as quotes provided you credit the author as per below:

We become empowered by anger when we view it as something that brings to our awareness those parts of us that need healing. – Larry James, from the book, “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing.”

You can read the 1st 100 Tweets at:

You can read the 2nd 100 Tweets at:

TwitterYou can read the 4th 100 Tweets at:

Follow my once daily “Relationship Tweets” at: – Enjoy!

Rarely is there a time when it is appropriate to withhold relevant communication in a relationship. It is too important to take casually.

Giving up your choice for satisfying your needs is a mistake. Your need to stand alone must be tempered by your need to stand together.

The goal of resolving conflict in a relationship is not victory or defeat. It is reaching a mutual understanding through open discussions.

To fix an issue requires letting go of our need to be right. Mutually solving problems brings love partners closer together.

Resolving conflict allows for negotiation and compromise. It promotes positive momentum & it must benefit both love partners.

There is no victory without the willingness to risk setbacks or total defeat. Love implies commitment and the mature exercise of wisdom.

Being authentic is to be able to live with your guard down; to be venerable; to be able to be yourself. It feels good. Simply be yourself!

Change your thinking about your relationship, then change your behavior and you WILL change your relationship for the better!

The great thing about authenticity is that it releases you from the requirement to be perfect. No one is perfect. Be your own good self.

Demonstrating authenticity in your relationship is a prerequisite to having a healthy relationship. Make it a specific intention e.g., goal.

Think back to some of the great times you’ve had together & recreate the experiences. You must plan time to be together for play.

Reward your partner for doing the right thing. Stay on track. Honor your combined efforts by continuing to work together to have fun.

Go on a date & this time dress to the nines! Make it special. Rent a tuxedo. Buy a new dress. Make advance reservations. Have a weekly date!

Offer “no excuses” for not being able to plan no less than one night each week to turn on the fun! Not having fun is not an option!

Plug in & play. Be a kid again. Plug into what your partner enjoys & then do whatever it takes to make your play time together memorable.

You cannot change someone else. It simply is not possible. Give it up. Love them & work on you. Never stop working on you.

Relationships can drown in negative emotions. Fear only surfaces when we call it up by temporarily letting go of love. Choose Love always!

Trust demands no withholds. You can more lovingly express how you think & feel when trust is present & feel more free to do so.

Maturity is the ability to live up to the responsibilities of a love relationship, & this means being dependable. It means keeping your word

Remember to flirt with your lover, like you did when you first met. Toss out little signals that tell your lover you are still interested.

Trust commands that you live in the present, trusting one moment at a time. To fully trust takes time and mature, committed love.

For Men – Always remember that more often than not, when your partner wants to talk, she only wants someone to listen & not dispense advice.

Relationships can drown in negative emotions. Feelings of fear are created in our own mind. The moment fear appears; we give up our power.

It is only and always fear talking when we hear a voice telling us not to get our hopes up because we will only be disappointed.

Affirmation – If I feel my lover taking me for granted, it is always & only my responsibility to request the love & appreciation I deserve.

Our feelings often rise & fall as our energy is drawn from the unstable emotions present when anger is being expressed. 1st cool down.

You tell yourself what to think. Tell yourself to ‘shut up’ when the temptation to speak ill of your partner occurs. Think good thoughts!

Intimate lovers don’t have to say words to be understood. A knowing glance or touch can say all that needs to be said to ignite passion.

The goal of resolving conflict in a relationship is not victory or defeat. It is reaching a mutual understanding through open discussions.

We must learn to express love to ourselves and to others in the midst of upsets. Love shows up when we let go & embrace love.

Have a private party for just the two of you. Candles, music, the works. Talk. Listen. Express your love for one another.

Love is a bond or connection between two people that results in trust, intimacy, and an interdependence that enhances both partners.

Cuddle. Lie close and be cozy. Do spoons! Just hold each other. There is a very special healing power in a close, warm embrace.

Guys, this one is for you! – Love is letting your partner have the TV remote for 30 days! And not sneaking it when she isn’t looking. 😉

Ask your partner: What do I do that you think forms a pattern & interferes with our intimacy? The answer may give you something to work on.

Love is loving someone without expecting anything in return; no judgments, no restrictions; no limitations; no expectations! Try it!

Love is expressed when you are being someone who loves someone for who they are, not who you think they should be.

Kissy. . . kissy. . . kissy! Quick pecks on the cheek don’t work. Give your partner an unexpected, looooong, juicy kiss. Be keen on kissing!

Communicating is not optional. It is an absolute necessity for the success of the relationship. Always communicate in a loving way.

To demonstrate Love, say, “I Love you” – out loud – at least once each day to someone you love. There is magic in those three little words.

Love is waking up to find the object of your affection – in the dream you were having – asleep on your shoulder. Now whisper, I love you!

Love is embracing differences & finding ways to build a common lifestyle, share decision-making, & take equal responsibility for the results

Heart-to-heart communication in a relationship requires an emotional atmosphere of caring, safety, understanding and trust.

It’s okay to say, “No.” It’s not okay to say, “Yes” when your heart tells you to say otherwise. You can’t fulfill every request made of you

Tender moments of togetherness are necessary for a love relationship to grow. Balance between closeness and separateness must be respected.

Rarely do you get what you need from a relationship when your only intention is to criticize your partner for mistakes. Compliments work!

Plateaus & setbacks are natural to progress. Growth in an intimate relationship is never in a straight, upward line. Exercise patience!

There is comfort in solitude. A committed love relationship fosters respect; respect for each others right to have some time to themselves.

Being in the same room & talking about things that are important to the two of you, can be almost as much fun & as productive as foreplay.

To manage the complexity of a stormy relationship you must accept responsibility for your “share” of the problem before it can be solved.

Maturity is the ability to harness your abilities, your energies & to do more than is expected in your relationships. Say “No” to mediocrity

Saying you are sorry doesn’t always mean you did anything wrong. it demonstrates an attitude of understanding, caring & empathy.

Without trust there can be no effective communication; without effective communication there can be no genuine intimacy. Honesty always pays

Do your best to see your partner’s point of view. This assists especially when you are both in major disagreement. Focus on needs not wants.

Trust demands no withholds. It invites personal disclosure. You can more lovingly express how you think and feel when trust is present.

You can more lovingly express how you think and feel when trust is present in your relationship and feel more free to do so.

When you trust the one you’re with, you can allow your lover to see the real you & be more of your true self. Trust demands no withholds.

Choose to be in a relationship where both partners continue to do things that you considered romantic when the relationship began.

Be in a commitment to always be in a dance with one another, showering each other with compassion & understanding. That’s true commitment.

The commitment that supports a healthy partnership is the commitment each has to the other to always be working on the relationship.

With understanding comes acceptance. With acceptance comes the ultimate expression of unconditional love. Understanding is the key.

Men & women think, feel and communicate differently. People who love each other learn to respect & understand their inherent differences.

Happy & healthy relationships are usually made between happy & healthy people; people who were happy & healthy “before” they were together.

You must be content to first be happy alone so you can be happy when you are together with someone else. Learn to be alone & not be lonely.

Committed lovers listen for the music in words that come from the heart. The music of the heart is the nourishment of unconditional love.

Love, commitment and loving conversation enables us to make music together in a way that helps us stay in tune with one another.

Not to release & rise above suppressed feelings of hurt & anger is to remain imprisoned by them. It takes no strength to let go only courage

The psychological importance of working through painful resentments must not be underestimated. Break old patterns & possibility is born.

Take turns planning events. Show your consideration for each other in this way. To do otherwise is to take your togetherness for granted.

Committed partners know it is wise to plan their time together. Go on a date. Plan it in advance. Don’t wait until the last moment.

In a healthy love relationship, things are easiest when both love partners take responsibility for the whole, not just their halves.

Trust creates breakthroughs in having relationships work. Among lovers, trust invites the spark of the Divine to ignite their passion.

For Men. I remember that more often than not, when my love partner wants to talk, she only wants someone to listen & not to give advice.

If you are content with your discontent in your relationship it cannot move forward. Change comes when you decide to do something different.

When you invalidate your partner’s feelings, disagreement follows. Never argue with anyone’s feelings. It’s an argument you can never win.

Women have a desire to be cherished & supported. It is a wise man that acknowledges this need by doing his best to offer his support.

By far the most common & important way in which you can exercise your attention to your love partner is by listening. It’s an act of love.

For intimacy to grow there can be no withholds. Feelings, positive & negative, must be shared equally between love partners in a loving way.

Forgive and forget is an impossibility. Forgive? Yes! You forgive because it sets you free; the first step toward healing. Forget? No!

You need others & you depend on yourself. Giving up your responsibility for satisfying your needs is a mistake. Stand tall together.

Cherish your differences. Learn to accept and be with the things you cannot change about each other. It allows for individuality to grow.

A determination to resolve conflict by conversation offers a chance for healing & promotes the opportunity to become much closer.

Saying “I’m sorry” over and over for the same mistake doesn’t work! Not making the same mistake again does.

Your relationship priorities are clear now, right? Go first. Apologize. Do what’s right! Say it. “I was wrong and I am sorry.”

If you need to get something off your mind, say it! Never candy-coat it or act like nothing’s wrong. Be nice but Speak up. Soon.

If couples would look for the one thing each day that made their relationship special for that day, what a difference it would make!

True love allows for disagreements. Problems are not there to break you. They help make you a better partner; they help you grow.

Silence is not golden. It’s insulting to your partner & it erodes trust. Speak what’s on your mind. Be honest. Say it with loving words.

Relationship derailment is a troubling phenomenon. It’s time for the death of finger pointing. Blame in a relationship doesn’t work!

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It is not something you do FOR someone else. It is not complicated. It is simple.

Stay on track. Do what’s right. Do unto your partner what you would have them do unto you. Indulge in honoring your combined efforts.

Be happy now! It’s a choice. Focus on the perfect present & its opportunities rather than worrying about past guilt or failure anxiety.

The same energy you expend on anger, when re-directed, can help free you of the negative emotions you feel when you are angry.

LoveNote. . . Plateaus and setbacks are natural to progress. Growth in an intimate relationship is never in a straight, upward line.

Don’t wallow in anger. The wise thing to do is to be present to our anger; acknowledge it. Create a new intention to move through it.

A healthy love relationship can exist only between two strong & independent people. Two broken people cannot fix each other.

Freeing yourself of negative emotions is something you do. It is never dependent upon whomever or whatever you think is the cause of anger.

How wonderful to be in a relationship where partners feel free to express their wants & needs. Talk about anything & everything all the time

I always allow my partner to be their own person. The object is not to be as one but to trust each other enough to play together as a team.

You can read the 1st 100 Tweets at:

You can read the 2nd 100 Tweets at:

You can read the 4th 100 Tweets at:

Follow my once daily “Relationship Tweets” at:

NOTE: The 4th 100 Tweets from Larry James’ Relationship Twitter will be available on September 30, 2010 on this BLOG!


Copyright © 2010 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – and

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.


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NOTE: You are welcome to use any of the above “Tweets” as quotes as long as you give credit. Example:

We become empowered by anger when we view it as something that brings to our awareness those parts of us that need healing. – Larry James, from the book, “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing.”



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