Larry James' BLOG

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Accelerate Your Bounce Back Time

Filed under: Relationships — Larry James @ 8:00 am
Tags: , , , ,

Disagreements will occur. When they do, bounce back quickly.

If an “I’m sorry” is appropriate, muster the courage and say it. Staying angry, pouting, raising your voice, cursing, or the silent treatment doesn’t work and it doesn’t fix the problem.

Don’t waste time wallowing in the stuff of the quarrel. If you do, it only makes it worse. Time spend wallowing is wasted energy. The longer it takes to settle the upset, the more you make up about what went wrong and the more you will remain stuck.

More likely than not, you will become upset about things of the past that you drag into your current situation that have nothing to do with what really happened. That is not fair to your partner. Stay focused on what you need to do to handle what just happened.

If you must, say, “Right now I am too angry to talk about this but I promise that I will when I cool down.” Take some time to think about what you need to say, then say it. Never let too much time pass. Allow a cooling off period. . . then take action. It’s very difficult to try to settle a disagreement when you are angry.

It is a wise partner who quickly leads the way in settling issues so you both can move forward. When you cut your finger you put a band-aid on it as soon as possible. Do the same for your relationship.

Someone has to be first to break the silence. Let it be you. Swallow your pride or whatever it is that is holding you back.

Learn to quickly do whatever is necessary to get back on track.

Sometimes you must take the first step while you are still afraid.

bandaid on your heartCopyright © 2009 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” There are more than 750 pages of great relationship information on Larry’s Website. Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – and

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