Larry James' BLOG

Monday, November 23, 2009

Preventative Maintenance

Don’t allow your relationship to crash and burn. Perhaps there should be “black boxes” in relationships. That way when a major relationship crash occurs you would be able to analyze more correctly what caused the problem.

Forensic experts know that in analyzing black boxes, any deviation in any sequence of events would have prevented the crash. That’s good to know.

PreventativeMaintenanceAdjustments in your own position about your relationship can and will make a BIG difference. Giving up being “right” about YOUR position is a great first step. You’ll be amazed! Make this commitment and it will transform the “rumbles” in your relationship to “ripples” almost immediately!

Ask yourself, “Would I rather be right or happy?”

Relationships are something that must be worked on all the time, not only when they are broken and need to be fixed.

Agree as partners to keep your relationship in a constant state of repair by continually working on it. This is a good way to prevent future issues from occurring. Sustain your relationship by periodic visits to those best in a position to help you. Got a relationship problem you cannot solve? Relationship coaching is a wise choice.

My friend, Dr. Michael LeBoeuf, says “A mistake only proves someone stopped talking long enough to do something.” People in relationships make mistakes. The key is to learn from your mistakes and push forward.

Never stay hooked to the past. The past is an energy drain. Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want. Practice constructive doing. You make fewer mistakes that way.

The miracle of error is the access to opportunity it presents. Problems validate what you are committed to. They get in the way of your commitments, therefore they validate what you are committed to. If this were not true, we couldn’t call them problems. Accept responsibility for your problems. If you don’t, you are the problem.

It is infinitely wiser to experience relationship problems as those situations which lure you on to self-discovery than to be stopped by the unpleasantness of the circumstances and be shut down to the possibilities the problem presents.

There are no accidents. Relationship problems occur for a reason. It is sometimes difficult to find the good in what appears to be all bad. There are important lessons to be learned in every circumstance.

Problems by design are repetitive. They come back if you don’t learn from them and do something to prevent their reoccurrence.


Copyright © 2009 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – and

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1 Comment »

  1. […] Articles: Preventative Maintenance Relationship Speed […]

    Pingback by Who Ya Gonna Call? – The Love Doctor, of Course! « Larry James' BLOG — Monday, May 16, 2011 @ 7:01 am | Reply

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