We get pretty much what we expect to get in our relationship. What we expect to get is what we focus on. If it turns out good, we should not be disappointed. If it turns out bad, we should not be disappointed. We got what we expected. What else did we expect to get?
“Blaming others for the pain we feel each time someone fails to live up to our expectations is no different than burning our tongue on coffee that’s too hot to swallow, and then calling our cup an idiot!” ~ Guy Finley
Perhaps we should learn to be in a relationship with no expectations. In a spirit of unity, only and always work together, all the time, to create the best relationship we can. All the time. With intention. In a spirit of unity. All the time.
If we could do that, maybe we wouldn’t have to be concerned about expectations when they surface; we would know things were always going to be as good as the people working on them. Perhaps that is why it is important to have a great relationship with ourselves. When we can do a great relationship with ourselves, we can do a great relationship with two people.
When we reach that place, we can have a great relationship with someone else because we already know how to be in a great relationship. . . with ourselves!
Copyright © 2008 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.
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