Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Relationship Derailment

Filed under: Relationships — Larry James @ 1:15 am

Relationship derailment is a troubling phenomenon. However, it’s time for the death of finger pointing.

I don’t want to hear, “But, you don’t know what he or she did!” Blame in a healthy love relationship doesn’t work!

There is a payoff for everything you do. The payoff for pointing a finger at your partner and blaming him/her for your relationship condition is: you don’t have to take responsibility for your share of the problem.

Relationship problems are shared problems. To manage the complexity of a stormy relationship you must accept responsibility for your share of the problem. When you can do that, the problem is half solved. Not only will this change you, it will change your relationship with your partner.

Perhaps your relationship deserves a powerful new focus.

Ideally, having a partner who understands the concept of team and the responsibility that goes with it contributes greatly to creating an greater attitude of team, which sheds light on solutions instead of keeping the focus on the problem.

True love allows for disagreements. Acknowledging when you are wrong is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of strength.

If your relationship is off track, the cost of complacency is obviously substantial. Waiting for your partner to “come around,” may prove futile. Go first. You must take the first step while you are still afraid. Doing so helps to inoculate your relationship against a relapse.

Your relationship priorities are clear now, right? Go first and do what’s right! It will make your perceptions clearer, your judgments sounder, your life work better and you will be closer to your heart’s desire; a healthy love relationship.

Your comments are always welcome!

Copyright © 2007 – Larry James. Adapted from the book, “How to Really Love the One You’re With.” Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE.

NOTE: All articles listed in this BLOG are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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1 Comment »

  1. […] Relationship derailment is a troubling phenomenon. It’s time for the death of finger pointing. Blame in a relationship doesn’t work! […]

    Pingback by 3rd 100 Tweets from Larry James’ Relationship Twitter! « Larry James’ CelebrateLove.com BLOG — Monday, February 22, 2010 @ 6:12 am | Reply


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