Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Saturday, February 28, 2015

Let Love Change the Course of Your Life

Filed under: Guy Finley's "Key Lesson",Love — Larry James @ 8:30 am
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Guy Finley, Guest Author

Key Lesson: When all is said and done, what matters is not whether or not the world loves us, or approves of us; what matters is what we love, for that is what determines the true and final course of our lives.

Find the Meaning of Life in Every Moment ~ There is an unspeakable gem whose light comes seemingly from all around us, but in truth is an upwelling from within us. Our relationship to that upwelling light — to that source of love — is really where we find the meaning of life, and we discover this relationship in the mirror of the present moment. But when we are caught up in imagination, whenever we are lost in thought, we can’t see the purpose of life that is right in front of us.

CourseOfYourLifeFor example, when we look out a window we can see the grass, the trees, and the seasons rotating around everything we see. But can we see that death is not the end of life? That tree, even when it withers and falls to the ground, isn’t the end of the tree. It’s the end of the form of the tree. And everything that constitutes the tree becomes part of the grass, everything that’s part of the grass becomes part of the soil, everything that’s part of the soil becomes part of the next tree. It is an inescapable fact that death is not the end of life.

But for us, life has an end, doesn’t it? What is death, then, for us? Death is the end of the known, like the lyric from an old Bee Gees song: “It ended when you said goodbye.” How many times have you already “died” in this life? The “my life is over” drill is so old; it should have died itself by now! “He left me, she betrayed me, I lost this, I’m not handsome any more…”

We’ve all died a thousand deaths, and yet we’re still here… because the deaths that we’ve died have not served us at all. They’ve served that which continues to create something that will once again come to an end, and then we will go through the process of discovering — over and over again — that there is something that lives within us that has a beginning and an end.

There is no end to real life, but within us dwells a nature that keeps running into what it says is the “end” of me. What do we serve in the moment when we suddenly find ourselves faced with something we regret? What do we serve when we’re faced with the onset of a depression? What do we serve in the moment when we realize we’ve done all of this again… for nothing?

Change-CourseWhat do we serve when our heart and mind are as barren as a winter’s tree, and all we can do in those moments is turn on ourselves with a vengeance for not being what we imagine we should be? What do we serve in those moments? We serve in those moments a part of ourselves that believes in death, a nature that believes in the end instead of the beautiful real-life process of transformation.

Stop trying to fulfill a purpose for your life through imagined ends. Begin to spend a little bit of time in your body, present to things instead of pursuing things — present to life, instead of pursuing it. That’s the first step to finding your true purpose: being present to life instead of pursuing it.

Life wants us to know the meaning of it. It is an innate urge in us to know the meaning of our life, and it is right before us in the mirror of the present moment.

This article is excerpted from The Meaning of Life. (http://www.guyfinley.org/store/cd-mp3-albums/432)

Guy-FinleyCopyright © 2014 – Guy Finley. Guy Finley is the acclaimed author of “The Secret of Letting Go” and more than 35 other books and audio programs that have sold over a million copies in 18 languages worldwide. Guy Finley’s encouraging and accessible message is one of the true bright lights in our world today. His ideas cut straight to the heart of our most important personal and social issues — relationships, success, addiction, stress, peace, happiness, freedom — and lead the way to a higher life. Visit Guy’s Website at: http://www.GuyFinley.com. Want more “Key Lessons?” Click here!

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Here is Your Prescription…

Filed under: Friendship,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
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On the hit TV show, “Elementary,” Sherlock, after lots of banter back and forth with his shrink, his psychiatrist abruptly said, “Hour’s up!” and handed him a prescription. It read, “Make one new friend before next week.”

Friendship is a good thing, however, somehow we all forget how important it is. A friend is someone you know well and care about, who also knows and cares about you. We need more people like this in our lives. Great friendships improve all aspects of our lives. When you understand the value of friendship, you realize that every friend you have is important.

PrescriptionFRIENDSAs people get older, the days of youthful exploration, when life felt like one big blind date, are fading. Older people are generally more happy and forgiving and less judgmental than younger people. Our schedules compress, priorities change and we often become pickier in what we want in our friends. We need to focus on restocking our friends.

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.” ~ Henri Nouwen

While social circles increase through early adulthood, friendship networks peak and start to decrease as you move through your twenties, according to a 2013 study published in the Psychological Bulletin. Researchers found that the drop in friendships was often due to marriage, parenthood, and a desire to focus on closer relationships.

FriendsWhile you’re building friendships it’s important to, work hard to keep the communication upbeat. Be conscious about the value and joy you’re adding to the other person and them to you. Fill your life with people who add value to it and let go of the ones who do not.

By the way, I am NOT talking about the friends you have on Facebook, Twitter, etc., – the ones you have never met and do not personally know. Those are make believe friends (unless you really do know them). I’m talking about the kind of friend you make plans to see every now and then, the ones you actually know; someone to talk to and hang out with on a regular basis, laughter, advice and so much more. The kind of good friends who allow you to make mistakes and love you anyway.

Here is your prescription… Make a new friend this week and pay it forward. (Encourage others to do the same!)

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Friday, February 20, 2015

Pay Attention to… Each Other!

Filed under: Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , ,

“When you look at all of the complaints about social media, smartphones, and the internet at large, most of the complaints boil down to one thing: attention. People don’t have any attention span anymore. People don’t focus on what’s in front of them anymore. People don’t even talk to you at dinner anymore.” ~ Mark Manson

How sad!

PayAttention2eachOtherBecause we’re all spreading our attention so thin, many of us are losing the all-important life skill of focus. Focus is what generates long-term relationship success. Focus leads to deeper and more meaningful relationships. Focus determines how well we can improve at something. The new age presents problems of attention, not of happiness or narcissism or loneliness. And as the technology’s critics point out, this issue is not going to go away, it’s simply going to get worse. The problem is not the technology itself, it’s how we choose to use the technology. Is it serving us or are we serving it?

Everyone is inattentive sometimes. However, for some people inattention becomes a serious condition that leads to significant problems in their relationships. Times of inattention are a part of life. Your spouse is an imperfect human being… just like you.

I would like to call attention to those people who – intentionally or not – flat out don’t pay close enough attention to their relationship. They let things slide past them as if their partner were not even in the room. Often a moment’s inattention can cause a lasting resentment from your partner.

It’s frustrating to suddenly realize that you’ve been talking to your partner and they haven’t heard a word you were saying. That’s just plain rude of your partner! It causes you to feel invalidated when you are not being heard.

When your partner speaks… stop what you are doing and LISTEN! It’s as simple as that.

BONUS Articles: Are You Guilty of “Inattention?”
Relationships Require Attention

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Visit Larry’s Relationship Pin Board on Pintrest @ http://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/relationships-blog/

Monday, February 16, 2015

The Secret to Solving ALL Your Problems!

Filed under: Problems,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: ,

I have experienced the pain of “not knowing!” Sometimes I think I must be the King of Anxiety! With anxiety, “self-doubt” surfaces. That’s when I am thankful for experience. My experience tells me that there is always something good in what I may perceive as bad. I am learning to not stay stuck in anxiety and self-doubt.

I have discovered that anxiety is my friend. It calls attention to the options I have open; to the new choices that are available to me.

SolveALLproblemsIf it weren’t for my commitment to always be the best I can be, I would sometimes rather die than have a concern about, “Now that I have momentum, can I really pull this off? Can I reach this next plateau? Do I have what it takes? Can I keep pace with the changes that are occurring?” I often wonder what life will be like when I reach my new objectives. . .that is, if I reach my objectives.

I hear this little voice say, “You never stayed with anything this great before, what makes you think you can hang in there this time?”

That’s when, without hesitation, I say to that little voice – and I stress “little” voice – “What do you know? You’re so busy being little, that you never have time to think about anything but discouraging words! How could you ever believe that I could do it when you, my little and no longer significant voice, never believed in yourself enough to ever imagine that there ever could be anything like an opportunity called ‘achievement’!”

Then I get to choose all over again. I choose to achieve! I choose to do what I’ve never done before! I choose to be with the pain of changing! The rewards are worth it! I know that what you can be with in life, lets you be!

I am convinced that I am bigger than my biggest problem! I never disguise problems as opportunities! Problems are problems. I acknowledge them and move on with great vigor to meet the opportunity the problems present! I rise to the occasion! I choose to think only about becoming; about becoming the best I can be!

Albert“Why?” “I’ll tell you why!”

Because of my commitment, I am who I am today and I’m the only one who knows that today is much better than yesterday. Living right now, experiencing the moment, being in the present is what fires my soul! I’ve tasted success, albeit in small bites. You don’t have to have a big bite of something that good to know that you want more. Success is much more satisfying than failure! I will never, never quit. It’s a stand I would die for. I am who I am today because of yesterdays thoughts and actions and tomorrow I’ll be even better.

This kind of thinking inspires me! It gets my energy focused on my purpose again! It helps me feel younger, like a kid again. Kids have fun! I am having fun with life and life is having fun with me! I am being good to life and life is being good to me!

Now… “What was all this about the pain of ‘not knowing’?”

I am grateful for what I do know. I know that there is a truth that sets me free. I also know that truth never changes. It just is.

What’s the secret?

YOU are the voice! What you say goes. You are in charge here. Think and speak only of what you want. Your past is before you. It is created individually by you today. You alone have the choice to make it one you can live with!

If you think you have to have an answer to all of your problems, ask yourself, “What if this IS the answer?”

Truth is truth, no matter who believes it!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Visit Larry’s Relationship Pin Board on Pintrest @ http://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/relationships-blog/

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Are You In It for the Long Haul?

If someone interviewed you on camera, what would YOU say about your partner?

cupidHow will you express your feelings this Valentine’s Day and the many other days of the year? How’s your “spark?!”

Read: “The History of Valentine’s Day

Cupid, another symbol of Valentine’s Day, became associated with it because he was the son of Venus, the Roman god of love and beauty. Cupid often appears on Valentine cards. Be sure to read” “The Story of Cupid.”

BONUS Article: Romantic Ideas to Make it Valentine’s Day All Year Long!
Little Known Facts About Valentine’s Day!
The Economics of Valentine’s Day

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Visit Larry’s Relationship Pin Board on Pintrest @ http://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/relationships-blog/

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Yes, You CAN Write a Valentine’s Day Letter!

Filed under: Love Letters,Valentine's Day — Larry James @ 6:30 am
Tags: , ,

It’s a few days until Valentine’s Day, enough time to transform your relationship!

How? With a heartfelt Valentine’s Day letter of appreciation! Unsure what to include in your letter? I’m here to help—read on.

LoveLetter1. Plan ~ Get quiet and think of the person you’re writing to. Think what you’d like to tell that special someone to help them know they’ve made a positive difference, and how. Jot down a few positive words that best describe the person you’re writing to; if you can, recall examples of those positive qualities in action.

2. Write a draft that includes these components ~

• A story; a reminiscence. The easy one, for a romantic letter, is to describe how you first met. But if you’re writing to a friend, family member, or other relative, just someone else, just recount a shared, treasured memory that will bring a smile.

• The person’s lovable or admirable qualities. You already have the words and notes about how you’ve seen those positive traits in action; just write them up.

• Acknowledgment that the person has made a positive difference.
Everyone wants to know they’ve made a difference, but unless they’re told, they may not know they have. So tell how this person has made a positive difference–whether in your own life, in the life of someone you know, in the community, or in the world.

• An expression of thanks and love.
This can be brief – “Thank you” or “I love you so much for all you are.”

• Complimentary close and your signature. Use the expression most appropriate and natural for the circumstance and the person you’re writing to, whether it’s “In gratitude,” “All my love,” or “Your friend always,” and below that, sign your name.

3. Let your draft rest for 24 hours and then reread ~ Refine what you’ve written so it will read smoothly and contain no errors. Get a friend to read it also, if you can; fresh eyes see more!

4. Rewrite from your corrected draft ~ Use good stationery for this. For a romantic letter in particular, use handwriting or hand-printing; another type of letter can be printed on the computer, if you wish, in a nice, readable font—especially if it is likely to be framed.

5. Present your letter appropriately ~ A romantic handwritten letter can be presented, with or without an envelope, during a special dinner or other intimate moment. A non-romantic heartfelt letter can be presented in person while sharing a meal or a drink together. Keep that letter flat, if you can, with or without an envelope, or mounted in a certificate holder, or else framed. If you can’t present the letter personally, use an appropriate-sized envelope (large, flat envelope marked “Do Not Bend” is best). If the letter is framed, package it carefully to prevent damage in transit, and mark it “Fragile.”

6. Know the joys of a forever-enhanced relationship ~ Enjoy your Valentine’s Day,

LynetteSmithCopyright © 2015 Lynette M. Smith. Lynette M. Smith owns and operates All My Best Copyediting and Heartfelt Publishing and is the author of the award-winning comprehensive reference book, How to Write Heartfelt Letters to Treasure: For Special Occasions and Occasions Made Special. For more information, visit: http://www.GoodWaysToWrite.com

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s Relationship Pintrest Page at: http://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/relationships-blog/

Sunday, February 8, 2015

How to Write Love Letter

Filed under: Relationships — Larry James @ 8:30 am

They say, love happens at first sight. Whether at first glimpse or not, persuading your love interest is not easy. Writing poetic lines to capture your beloved’s attention is more like an art. For those of you who are less equipped to deal with this, we are here to help with love letters.

Romantic-Love-Letter

BONUS Articles: Have You Written a Love Letter Lately?
Love Letters Straight From the Heart
No Words Unsaid ~ Write Someone You Love a Letter

Copyright © 2015 by Lisa Smith. Lisa designs infographics at Blueberry Labs Pvt Ltd. Follow her at https://www.BlueberryLabs.com.

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s Relationship Pintrest Page at: http://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/relationships-blog/

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

When You Stop Paying Attention to Your Marriage…

Filed under: Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , ,

it begins to fall apart. Slowly at first. Then the consistent lack of attention begins to gain momentum until the divorce papers are served and you’re shocked! You ponder, “I should have known.” And you would have known but you were not paying attention!

A plant that is not watered eventually loses its spark. Many relationships need to be watered too. They become stale and stagnant. Both partners are stuck but cannot see that their lack of attention to the marriage and each other, caused the beginning of their demise. Often it’s too late to begin again. Both blame the other when the most productive thing to do would be to say, I’m sorry,” ask for forgiveness – give it – and start all over.

PayAttention (1)But no!

It doesn’t always happen that way. Both partners want to be right so they both stop trying and slowly drift further apart. They can only view the relationship from “their” point of view, considering nothing else. Most marriages end because at least one, and often both, partners are terminally bored with the relationship and despair of successful new beginnings.

“Women report that husbands have lost interest in how they feel, have become distant and preoccupied with work and are unable to maintain an intimate relationship or provide the soul-depth companionship that they crave. Husbands report that their wives have become preoccupied with the children, the trivial details of running the household and their own careers. Some complain that their wives have let themselves go physically and that sex has slowly become less frequent and less interesting. Both yearn for passion, connection and companionship. In the parlance of the new era, everyone wants a soulmate and is disappointed that their spouse ain’t it.” ~ Sam Margulies, PhD, Esq.

Remember, if you are not happy, the odds are your partner may feel the same way. That could a clue. Men (and sometimes, women) don’t get it until their partner is ready to walk out the door.

Pay attention! Stop everything you’re doing, listen and encourage a conversation about it. Next, take action. Give up being “right!” Work together. Focus all your energy on doing “whatever it takes” to get back on track.

Plan first to learn to better communicate. Undoubtedly, one of the most important parts of communication is listening! (Another great way to “pay attention!”) Speak up. Say what you need to say. You cannot withhold communication if you want your relationship to work. Undelivered communication is something many people don’t talk much about. You must learn to speak about things that may be uncomfortable. This may lead to some new agreements. Like… promising to have no undelivered communication – no more secrets – and to talk about anything and everything, all the time – in the most loving way you can. That’s not easy. I should know. If you would have never stopped paying attention to the marriage, you might have noticed that that part of the relationship was missing.

It’s time to focus on each other. Sometimes that is difficult with all that is swirling around in our daily lives, however, if you both really want a great relationship, you must make some new promises and one part of the promise must be about keeping your word and doing whatever it takes, no matter that you have to pick up the kids after school of you don’t “feel” like it.

Because we’re all spreading our attention so thin, many of us are losing the all-important life skill of focus. Focus is what generates long-term marriage success. Focus leads to deeper and more meaningful relationships. Focus determines how well we can improve at something.

Here comes the “C” word!

Another step toward a successful marriage is “keeping your commitments!” Focus on that!

BONUS Articles: Are You Guilty of “Inattention?”
Relationships Require Attention

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Visit Larry’s Relationship Pin Board on Pintrest @ http://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/relationships-blog/

Friday, January 23, 2015

See You At the Beach!

Filed under: Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , ,

Larry’s NOTE: Since about 1982 the soft, soothing sounds of the ocean have been by friend and have lured me to sleep with the help of my trusty CD player. In a former relationship, after a date, my lover and I would kiss goodnight and the last thing I would say to her was, “See you at the beach.” She knew that once I arrived home and my head hit the pillow I would go to my island for an imaginary rendezvous with her. The following poem describes my special island where my lover and I would meet. The link to “At the Beach… Alone Again” at the bottom of this page chronicles the completion of the relationship. ~ Larry James

I go to bed alone and close my eyes.

I hear the sound of the sea crashing against the rocks, then experience the momentary quiet as the ocean waves return to the open sea only to come crashing against the rocks again moments later.

SeeUAtTheBeachI love the smell of the ocean. And when I sit on the rocks, I love the touch of the waves rolling over me.

I’ve been coming here to my private little island for many years now.

Always alone.

Before you – while waiting for your beautiful brown eyes to find me – I designed a sand castle or two by the seashore, skipped flat stones on the water by the brook in the meadow, and threw driftwood back to the sea.

I thought about someday having you here with me. And I didn’t know who you were.

Once, I scribbled words of desperation on a piece of paper. I stuffed it into a bottle, then threw it into the sea. “Please God, send someone who loves me and someone I can love! Whoever finds this, I love you!”

Then, there you were.

Like some new flower, beautiful and ready to be picked.

And, oh, how I loved you.

“It’s our first night on the beach together. Take a chance on me. Lie down and leave your imprint in the sand, right there, beside mine.”

Two imprints in the sand where there was once only one; far enough from the shore so high tide could not disturb the memory of our being there together.

I can see your beautiful body on pure white sand, laying next to me. This island’s population is but two. This beach belongs only to me and you.

I remember being locked in passionate embrace, counting out the stars together.

A cozy fire of driftwood, from wood we gathered while hunting coconuts, gave us warmth as we fell asleep in each others arms; the sounds of the sea our lullaby.

Best friends and lovers.

From now to forever… together.

Ours is a love that knows no boundaries.

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This morning we’ll wade along the shoreline, make love again and count some more stars tonight.

I love to watch you brush the white sand from your cute little behind. I love the sand and I love you.

beachWhen we are together we often cling to each other as the sand to your body.

We love to run, holding hands, along the water’s edge. We play. We love and spend time digging clams and just being together.

Occasionally we pause to rest by sitting on a small weather-beaten boat, once turned upside down and now long forgotten by its skipper. Nearby, one solitary oar points westerly, buried partially in the sand.

Knee deep in the water, we knelt, facing each other, as if to pray. Together, our clasped hands reach toward the heavens. Our lips came together as the ocean gently made love to our bronze bodies. The waves are clumsy but they are kind.

As we lie together, the afternoon sun gently kisses our sun-kissed bodies and warms the sand as I count the freckles sprinkled over your beach-brown shoulders.

I love being with you, touching you, kissing your body and watching you enjoy the warmth of the sun.

The distant clouds seem to smile as they watch over the place where we lay.

As leaves blow along the beach, the bleached starfish are washed upon the shore.

I put a seashell to my ear and hear your soft voice whisper, “I love you.”

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As the friendly winds gently wake the palms, I show you secret places on our island known only to me. Places, created by God, made only to share with my lover.

Hand in hand, we walk through dense green foliage. We follow a path, only my feet have known, to where a crystal clear stream invites us to bathe together like Adam and Eve on our very own island paradise.

The birds of the island join in joyful chorus to sing songs of peace, love and harmony.

We take pause from our island adventure to savor the meat of a freshly cracked coconut.

We feel the mist from the island’s solitary mountain fall gently upon our skin as we frolic beneath coconut trees near the waterfall in the meadow.

Thanks for the raspberries you picked for me along the way.

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Lovers on the beach.

Sleeping on your pillow of driftwood, I lie here, next to you, on our bed of white sand, experiencing our closeness, matching you in sleep breath for breath, yet awake.

Now that you lie sleeping, I’ll take a moment to quietly tell you all the things I never say when you’re awake.

Deep within slumber, you manage a smile. I know you hear me. I love you.

I let you sleep because I love to watch you all disheveled and unwound, dressed up in your undress.

Lying close, in your shadow, I fall asleep.

We sleep well together.

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I have often been alone on the beach to spend quiet moments with my thoughts about what it would be like to be with you forever.

I love to be with those thoughts because I love you and I want to be with you wherever you are.

That I only love you, is not enough. I love you unconditionally!

I cherish the thought of a forever love relationship with you!

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onthebeachWe’ve been so long at the beach we taste like the sun.

We walk in the sea breeze to the water’s edge for a quick splash of cool ocean.

The beads of water on your beautiful body glisten as we walk to our favorite spot on the beach for making love.

Some would say the sun is much too hot today for love. It matters not to us.

Your eyes tell me you want me.

You only have to look at me, that’s all.

Your body says, “Come closer, my love.”

You wear nothing but a lavender orchid in your hair; my island angel in the sun.

We touch and I feel your body sizzle from the heat of our passion.

Your skin is soft as angel’s breath.

I brush gently against your breasts and we tingle as we touch. The fire inside visibly expresses; soft lips to soft lips; thigh to thigh. How perfectly we fit together.

My hands trace new and exciting memories all over your body.

Our hot bodies communicate only words of love; so softly; words only our heart can hear and understand.

And your eyes, set on fire by desire, were made to dance by whispered sighs of love and the passion of the moment.

I quietly speak your name. “Oh, God, I love you.”

The sound fades into the wind as we become lost together, somewhere out there; our brief escape to where only total trust and pure love are present.

beach2Ecstasy!

We smell like love.

How far away this world becomes in the harbor of each other’s arms.

I want to forever be with you.

Friendly seagulls wink as if to nod their approval as we come together in the sand.

In the afterglow, we hold each other, oh, so closely.

We watch as the dolphins gracefully dance with the water. We know they know.

Suddenly an ocean breeze begins to stir, cooling our bodies – anticipating our need for it – following our passion on the sand.

Afternoon shadows gather as the sun prepares to go to sleep.

Our love has a magical quality. Who knows, in the quietness of our love, we may even see the wind together.

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Now, I stand watching as you walk down the beach. Oh God, will this be the last time? I don’t want to be alone again.

What will happen if I am not to again know your warm arms, your soft, suntanned shoulder next to my face in the late afternoon sun, your lips against mine?

I try hard to memorize you, knowing it may later be important. I remember the way you walked and the way you looked back over your shoulder at me.

Were we imaginary lovers only?

Was this the sound of farewell I hear screaming silently in my ears?

Do you think I’d dare to leave you walking lonesome on the beach into someone else’s summer?

I still long to see you one more time coming down the beach.

I wonder if the time will ever pass till we’re together even for a while again.

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I’m sorry no one was there to see how happy we were together.

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The clouds were sad today.

No dolphins came to play.

The seagulls lament.

I remember how I cried when my first snowman melted. The snow, it kept falling, worthless, like the tears you cry over lost love.

How can we be sure of anything? The tide changes. Has it changed that much for us?

I’m not sure what all this means. Will the good times suddenly be forgotten? Nay! I will not sleep without your memory.

I wonder why I cannot shake our true love from my mind.

It may be that we built our love only on memories and make them more than what they were. It must be or wouldn’t you still be here? I dare not say for I do not know.

I pray God allows the memories not to fade.

And lovers? They sometimes go away.

That time of loving may not come again, so I’ll just add the precious times we had together to my collection of warm and wonderful memories.

Perhaps if the love we share could be unconditional, and maybe if we never allowed the presence of past hurts to affect the love and devotion we feel for each other today; or. . . what if by daily reaffirming our commitment to speak only words of love, acceptance, understanding and forgiveness we could learn to love unconditionally? Are there some answers we can ponder?

When all of the old memories I call back to help me sleep don’t work, maybe I’ll try thinking about pop tarts and dixie cups half filled with luke-warm coffee.

Or maybe, in my mind, I’ll return to the beach, to again be with you.

I can, at will, if I choose, always create in my imagination my lovely paradise with you.

I will take no other lover to our beach. Only you.

When I think of love and loving, I’ll remember you.

For myself, I’ve kept your smile.

If I tried, and I will not try, I could blot out all but your beautiful brown eyes. Your eyes always told the truth about the depth of love you felt for me. Your eyes never lie. Not even now.

Because I have memories, I will never be alone.

I guess I’ll spend some time letting myself come first for a while. And when I tumble into sleep yours will be the last face I will see.

In loving you I’ve held back no reserve and so I’ve nothing left to give tomorrow’s lover when you go.

See you at the beach!

Larry’s NOTE: Want more? Although the beach described in the poem above is imaginary… the relationship and the pain of a changing relationship was very real. Each night as I went to sleep, I listened to the sounds of the ocean on my CD player as I imagined being on the beach with my lover.

When I knew the relationship was complete, I began keeping a daily journal. Notice that I did not say that the relationship was over. Relationships never end. You can be complete with a relationship but they never end. Death, divorce, or separation does not end a relationship, it only changes it. As long as you have memory, you will have relationships. Letting go and moving on is the difficult part. Writing the poem (below) was a necessary step to facilitate the healing process and to bring closure to the relationship. ~ Larry James

BONUS Article: At the Beach… Alone Again
For YOUR Eyes Only
Maturity in Relationships

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Visit Larry’s Relationship Pin Board on Pintrest @ http://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/relationships-blog/

Monday, January 19, 2015

The Best Sermons are Lived, Not Preached

Filed under: Life Lessons,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , , ,

Twelve real life stories that can be your teachers.

1. Today, I interviewed my grandmother for part of a research paper I’m working on for my Psychology class. When I asked her to define success in her own words, she said, “Success is when you look back at your life and the memories make you smile.”

2. Today, I asked my mentor – a very successful business man in his 70s- what his top 3 tips are for success. He smiled and said, “Read something no one else is reading, think something no one else is thinking, and do something no one else is doing.”

MemoriesMakeUSMILE3. Today, after a 72 hour shift at the fire station, a woman ran up to me at the grocery store and gave me a hug. When I tensed up, she realized I didn’t recognize her. She let go with tears of joy in her eyes and the most sincere smile and said, “On 9-11-2001, you carried me out of the World Trade Center.”

4. Today, after I watched my dog get run over by a car, I sat on the side of the road holding him and crying. And just before he died, he licked the tears off my face.

5. Today at 7AM, I woke up feeling ill, but decided I needed the money, so I went into work. At 3 p.m. I got laid off. On my
drive home I got a flat tire. When I went into the trunk for the spare, it was flat too. A man in a BMW pulled over, gave me a ride, we chatted, and then he offered me a job. I start tomorrow.

6. Today, as my father, three brothers, and two sisters stood around my mother’s hospital bed, my mother uttered her last coherent words before she died. She simply said, “I feel so loved right now. We should have gotten together like this more often.”

7. Today, I kissed my dad on the forehead as he passed away in a small hospital bed. About 5 seconds after he passed, I realized it was the first time I had given him a kiss since I was a little boy.

8. Today, in the cutest voice, my 8-year-old daughter asked me to start recycling. I chuckled and asked, “Why?” She replied, “So you can help me save the planet.” I chuckled again and asked, “And why do you want to save the planet?” Because that’s where I keep all my stuff,” she said.

9. Today, when I witnessed a 27-year-old breast cancer patient laughing hysterically at her 2-year-old daughter’s antics, I suddenly realized that I need to stop complaining about my life and start celebrating it again.

10. Today, a boy in a wheelchair saw me desperately struggling on crutches with my broken leg and offered to carry my backpack and books for me. He helped me all the way across campus to my class and as he was leaving he said, “I hope you feel better
soon.”

11. Today, I was feeling down because the results of a biopsy came back malignant. When I got home, I opened an e-mail that said, “Thinking of you today. If you need me, I’m a phone call away.” It was from a high school friend I hadn’t seen in 10 years.

12. Today, I was traveling with a friend in Kenya and we met a refugee from Zimbabwe. He said he hadn’t eaten anything in over 3 days and looked extremely skinny and unhealthy. Then my friend offered him the rest of the sandwich he was eating. The first thing the man said was, “We can share it.

Life lessons are everywhere! Listen for them and learn! The best sermons are lived, not preached!

Author Unknown.

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s Relationship Pintrest Page at: http://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/relationships-blog/

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