As some of you know I am known for dropping into an occasional fast food place to grab a bite and catch up on reading some of the mail and magazines that I never seem to have time to read in my office.
Recently I stopped into my favorite Burger King® (5355 North Northsight Blvd, in Scottsdale, AZ). There is this tall, good looking cashier who has waited on me many times before. Her name is Machelle. I often call her “Smiley.” She has a beautiful smile.
This time, she was standing on the customer side of the counter talking to an employee. I said, “Hi! I don’t usually see you on this side of the counter.” She smiled and I went on to gather napkins, pepper, etc., and went to a booth. When my order was called, I went to pick it up and she was still standing there.
I looked at her and said, “You are truly a beautiful woman. Have you ever thought about modeling?”
Her answer was supported by visible confidence as she said, “Yes! I’m going to do that!”
“Great! Do that!” I said as I turned to go back to my booth.
Here I go, thinking again; thinking about what just happened. She really was breath-taking, dressed in a white tank-top and blue jeans – tight blue jeans (Yes, I did notice that!) – that revealed the body of a genuinely beautiful woman. I thought I should go to her and say:
“I truly believe you have a great modeling career ahead of you. From my experience, many people who seek out new adventures, and when confronted by obstacles, often give up. They quit just before they were about to make it, beacuse their fear was bigger than the obstacles and they lost their way. Please don’t you ever do that. It is not okay to give up on your dream. Winners are not people who have never failed, they are people who never quit. Stay true to yourself,” but she left before I had a chance to stop thinking about it and just say it.
I thought: “Next time!” She will be behind the register waiting to take my order and I will tell her then. Or… I could give her a link to this article and let her discover how seeing her – not as a cashier – as a regular person inspired me to write about our encounter and in turn, inspire others to ‘never give up on their dream.’
Where there is will, there is a way. It is also smart to remember patience. Reaching our goals does not always go in a straight line. There are often many twists and turns to getting there. It is important to know that it doesn’t always turn out exactly the way we want it to.
I hate to say this for fear of being misunderstood, however it needs to be said. Another important step on the way to your dream is to give up your expectations. Focus instead on what you “need” – not what you expect – to get there and never waiver from that path. You will still have twists and turns and the path will lead you there when you never give up.
Unfulfilled expectations always cause problems. Expectations are predetermined resentments. When we don’t get what we expect, we often get disappointed which can lead to an upset: resentment, frustration, self-doubt, anger and in a few rare cases, a total shut down. Focusing on what you need will get you there, and with no expectations you are more open to your dream or something better than you dreamed of. There is no opportunity in unfulfilled expectations.
It’s said that several people on “Dancing With the Stars” had dreams of being professional dancers and on their way to that, they discovered that their real talent was teaching others to dance or choreography.
“When your belief in the benefits of the goals you set is stronger than your fear and equal to your courage, you can have anything that you decide to have.” ~ Larry James
Important: Never limit your idea of what will be by what has been! Keep looking forward.
Many years ago, I was traveling back in North Carolina working with Don Hutson, W. Stephen Brown and other professional speakers and I set daily goals in the six weeks I was going to be in the Charlotte and Winston-Salem areas. If, by 5:00 p.m. – when most of the people I called on were ready for happy hour – if I hadn’t met my daily goal, I would keep finding someone else to call on until I did. There were many times when that “one more call” paid off big. I wouldn’t quit. Of the four other men I was working with, I was the top salesperson for the entire Winston-Salem event. Special recognition and a nice bonus were the rewards.
Networkers also sometimes have great expectations about building a network and reaping the reward of lots of business referrals, but those unfulfilled expectations get in their way. It is also smart to remember patience. The reward is no instant gratification wonder! It takes time and patience. Worth waiting for, I might add.
Learning along the way must be a high priority. Being willing to expand your knowledge about what you want the end result to be is a must. If you don’t have a clue about what the end result will look like, feel like, be like, how will you know when you get close to being there? Give up your expectations and be okay with what shows up.
Just don’t give up on your dream! AND… Never quit when you are behind!
Larry’s NOTE: I decided to give Machelle a link to this article. ;-)
BONUS Articles: Expectancy vs. Expectations
No Purpose? No Goals!
If it Ain’t Broke… Fix it!
Networking How-to: Overcome Fear and Just Be Yourself
Networkers: Let’s be More Technical and Smart!
Copyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.
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