2 Reasons to be a Happy Tax Payer

1. The care and feeding of the “Goose that Lays the Golden Eggs” - how much do you think sidewalks, freeways, police, firemen and aircraft carriers cost? And pay with happiness, knowing that you’re feeding the goose that lays the golden eggs - the golden eggs of freedom, safety, justice, and free enterprise. Some goose! Some eggs!

2. It is always only a percentage of what you earn. Hope to pay exorbitant taxes - it means you have had a GREAT year! Your tax check is your achievement certificate of a remarkable year.

These tips are from my friend and Professional Speaker, Jim Rohn, America’s Foremost Business Philosopher

Thought for Today!

When you put energy into something to make it better, you receive energy from it. You don’t have to pour a lot of energy into being happy. You simply decide to be happy. Like everything, happiness is a “Choice.” It helps to think about happy things. You need to learn to be happy where you are, so you can be happy when you get to where you are going. - Larry James

From the article, “Networking: A Woman’s Contact Sport!“

Trust Yourself

LoveNote. . . Being able to share yourself in an atmosphere of safety and trust is the key to overcoming the fear that inhibits love. ~ Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D.

LoveNote. . . To love yourself as you are, you must let go of, disengage from, all thoughts and feelings about how you really should be. ~ Paul Williams

We must learn to trust ourselves enough to be the person who can accomplish what we want in a healthy love relationship. Then, and only then, can we be free to do the things necessary for our reality to become what we desire it to be.

Trusting yourself is an essential part of contribution in a healthy love relationship. For your relationship to mature, you must trust yourself enough to share yourself fully with the one you love. Trust is what makes sharing yourself with another possible.

Trust stands behind a guarantee that the giver will never lose, only gain. To hold sacrifice higher than giving is to scoff at the very idea of trust.

Trusting yourself breeds courage. Self-disclosure demands some risk of getting hurt. Your demonstration of courage, that is. . . revealing your true self to your love partner, in an atmosphere of unconditional love and acceptance, can open up new conversations that will support further disclosure in the most sensitive areas of your relationship, perhaps in the areas that count the most.

Trust yourself unconditionally. To the degree that your trust is conditional, you will have unrealistic expectations. That is not trusting yourself. You will find yourself getting in the way of what you say you want. Trust yourself. Stay out of your own way. And trust a higher power, with no strings attached. Trust God and do something!

Learning to trust yourself is to accept yourself for who you are. Trusting yourself enough to withhold nothing, to be totally open with your lover is emotionally enriching. Not everyone, however, is ready for the kind of openness trust creates. Trust works best when it is mutually enjoyed.

To your love partner, not withholding could be perceived as “moving too fast.” This could mean the beginning of the end. People are different. Situations are never the same. Trust yourself to say what needs to be said, when it needs to be said. Slow down a bit. Test the water and remember not to use testing the water as a cop out. Live life full out. Life is too short to withhold yourself from those that you care about.

In spite of all your efforts to ease into not withholding, some people will pull away. When you feel this happening, take time to have a conversation about it. Let people know what’s on your mind. More than likely, they have similar feelings, yet are afraid to confront them. So, they distance themselves from you, which, in effect, constructs a barrier only love and loving conversation can break through.

When you have tried loving conversation and your love partner is still affected by your openness, you have a choice to make. If you allow being with your love partner to inhibit you in being who you are, it may be time to reach some new agreements or choose someone new to be with. It may be necessary to move on to what’s next.

Copyright © 2008 - Larry James. This article is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Author Larry James presents seminars nationally for singles and couples. Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. - CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles listed in this BLOG are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

The Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two “wolves” inside us all.

One is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Never YELL at Your Children!

Please, never YELL at your children! I was having a quiet snack at Taco Bell recently when the silence was broken by a mother who entered yelling at her three small girls. They looked to be about 5 to 7 years old.

I wouldn’t say she ruined my snack, but my thoughts were interrupted as she received her order and continued to scold her children. They were innocent little girls just being little girls, giggling, laughing and having a great time. They didn’t seem to be as annoyed by her constant rant as I was. The mom was causing a much louder disturbance than the little girls. Everyone was beginning to notice.

She continued to grumble as they were eating their tacos. Perhaps she was having a bad day. If so, she surely was taking it out on her kids. Bad day or not. . . there is NEVER a “good” reason for YELLING at your children.

If you pause for a moment to choose your words carefully and compose your thoughts, you can accomplish the desired result without letting everyone know you are out of control. It is not necessary to raise your voice as she continued to do.

I wanted to say something but instead choose to write her a brief note on the back of my business card (which, by the way, had my phone number on the other side).

As I was leaving, saying nothing, I handed her my business card on which I had scribbled: “You have three beautiful little girls who, in my opinion, were just being little girls. If you continue to yell at them, they will grow up to be just like you! Think about it!

I hope she got the message. So far she hasn’t called.

Thought for Today!

Real Success in life is not determined by measuring up to some pre-set social standard of accomplishment, but is found through the individual effort it takes to go beyond what blocks our way in the moment. Such a deliberate effort in the face of our own doubts and fears always proves these negative states powerless . . . which is the same as discovering within ourselves the power to be free. - Guy Finley

Red Hot LoveNote. . .

The passion of your relationship and your commitment to it will express itself in all other areas of your life, with family, friends and business associates. It spills over into everything you do. Every joy shared brings more love and loving.

The enthusiasm you have for loving one another shines for the whole world to see. The love, irrepressible desire and passion you share have their way of expressing generously back into the relationship and to all those around you.

Happiness is catching. Partners who are committed to spreading the joy of a healthy relationship will be more intentionally inclined and confidently dedicated to continue to work together.

An additional reward is experiencing the erotic pleasures that become available in the sanctuary of the boudoir.

Copyright © 2008 - Larry James. - From the book, Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers: The Importance of Great Sexual Communication and Other Essentials for Extraordinary Hot Sex!

NOTE: This article listed on this BLOG is available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Thought for Today!

“The two choices I see for healthy love relationships is dialogue. . . or the death of the relationship. Love is an interesting game. There are either two winners or none. Collaborate with your partner and thrive. The healthy choice is dialogue.” - Larry James

Romantic Jealousy is Scary!

Jealously. . . it feeds on your insecurity, devours your self-confidence, and gobbles up the trust in your relationship.

Jealousy has been defined as an emotion experienced by one who perceives that another person is giving something that she or he wants (typically attention, love, or affection) to a third party.

Jealousy is an emotion resulting from the resentfully suspicious nature of man. It is a universal emotional trauma caused by things as well as people. Jealousy is a reaction to a perceived threat - real or imagined - to a valued relationship or to its quality. Jealousy has a mind of its own and it is strong enough to make us believe and see things that are not even there or that have not happened yet.

Jealousy is a “complex reaction” because it involves such a wide range of emotions, thoughts and behaviors.

Believe it or not, like other difficult emotional experiences, jealousy can be a trigger for growth, increased self-awareness, and greater understanding of both your partner and your relationship.

While some couples seem to feed off of inciting a playful type of jealousy, many other relationships are laid to waste by uncontrollable and irrational fits of jealous rage.

In small, manageable doses, jealousy can be a positive force in a relationship. Jealousy heightens emotions, making love feel stronger and sex more passionate. But when jealousy is intense or irrational, the story is very different.

Jealousy is almost always a demonstration of our own insecurities and low self-esteem. Unless an unfaithful partner has broken trust, about 90% of jealousy comes from from personal insecurity. When you are feeling unloved, be careful not to focus on your partner when the feelings are really inside you. Jealousy provides an opportunity to come to a fundamental understanding of yourself. You may be being driven by your fears.

Insecurities bring forth jealousy, which, in effect, is a cry for more love. It is within our rights to ask for more affection when self-doubts surface, however, the indirect way that jealousy asks for it is counterproductive. Excessive possessiveness is inappropriate. Jealousy is the surest way to drive away the very person we may fear losing.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to try and hide it. Jealousy is usually a signal of something needing fixing, and ignoring that usually only makes things worse.

To keep yourself on the right track of jealousy conquering, just remember these steps:

Acknowledge your jealousy. Ask yourself where it is coming from and why it makes you feel jealous. I suggest asking yourself, “What do I feel insecure about? Do I feel unattractive or uninteresting myself? Do I doubt the other persons love for me? Their physical attraction? Do I doubt that I can have the type of relationship I want?”

Make self-health and lifestyle changes that will assist you in fighting it off. Combine jealousy with a more rational emotion. Have patience and practice!

As long as you keep those steps in mind and follow them, you will learn how to take control of your jealousy instead of it controlling you.

Emma Goldman once said, “All lovers do well to leave the doors of their love wide open. When love can go and come without fear of meeting a watch-dog, jealousy will rarely take root because it will soon learn that where there are no locks and keys, there is no place for suspicion and distrust, two elements upon which jealousy thrives and prospers.”

Copyright © 2008 - Larry James. This article is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Author Larry James presents seminars nationally for singles and couples. Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. - CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles listed in this BLOG are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

The Dating Daze!

This article appears as the foreword in the book, “Confessions of Shameless Dating: Using The Power of Effective Self-Promotion To Attract The Right People” by Debbie Allen. Now available! - To order, click here!

The grown-up dating game has never been more interesting and challenging. There are more players than ever before. Why? Because of higher divorce rates, longer life spans, and a greater tendency to never marry. This contributes to more single Americans than at any other time in our country’s history.

The U.S. Census Bureau tells us that of the 97 million Americans who are 45 or older, almost 40 percent - 36.2 million - are available singles. There is no shame in being single.

This book, featuring the collective wisdom of many shameless romantics, is designed to give you a clearer picture of the good, bad, and decidedly challenging aspects of singledom, dating, finding romance and possibly finding your soul mate.

Over the years the dating game has evolved into some very creative ways to help us get connected. Various forms of dating services, personal ads, special interest groups, singles ministries in large churches, resort inspired singles vacations and the recent explosion of the Internet has made seeking love and companionship as routine as shopping for groceries.

When you are young, dating and your hormones are dancing, it is easy to make dating decisions based on how you “feel” in the moment. Go slow. True love takes time to mature. Rushing into a relationship will most assuredly automatically reserve you a room at the heartbreak hotel.

The older a person gets, the more he or she becomes a practical dater, rather than being emotionally driven. Older singles seem to demonstrate greater wisdom, grace and maturity in connecting with others, which is a prerequisite in dating.

As recently as 25 years ago, when someone over 50 was on the prowl, most people assumed that the person was widowed. However, today a solo single in his or her 50’s or 60’s is most likely divorced. About 18 percent of all Americans 50 to 69 are either divorced or have never been married. Only about 9 percent are widowed.

Relationships never end. Divorce or death only changes them. As long as you have memory, you will have a relationship. Take time to grieve, and then get on with your life.

Wading around in the dating pool? Hesitating because the dating game has changed dramatically since you were in your 20s? Sooner or later - if you truly desire a relationship - you must jump in. Make a big splash. When you decide that you are ready to play the dating game, look at it as an adventure.

Awkward first dates are a drag, however the more you have, the more comfortable you will become. Date lots of people and set a higher priority on having fun rather than looking for a mate.

Some singles hesitate to look for romance because they are aware that second marriages are statistically more likely to fail than first marriages.

Others stay on the dating sidelines because of an uneasy feeling about intimacy. It’s okay to say, “No!” Some seek out groups that allows them to sidestep sex entirely. When there is this kind of agreement in place in the group, it takes the pressure off.

Another dating obstacle for women is that they live longer then men. This is a medical blessing and a dating curse. As age increases the ratio of available men goes down. This often causes some women to become discouraged.

Singles who shack up without marrying are also more likely to have relationships that eventually fall apart at the seams with numerous unforeseen complications.

So what if you are suddenly single because of divorce? Enter the dating arena slowly. Rule of thumb: At least six months or more.

“Or more?” you say. Yes! Six months or more!

When you cut your finger. It takes time for the wound to heal. If the sharp edge cuts to the bone, it may take longer. A thorough healing of a broken heart takes time too.

The biggest mistake that newly singles make is getting involved with someone else before the hurts of the past have healed.

When you are mature enough to accept responsibility for your share of the problems that caused your singleness, and if you have learn the lessons that past mistakes have presented, then perhaps beginning again can be looked upon as a good thing.

Another survey reports that 56 percent of all singles are currently separated or divorced from a spouse. If you are suffering from the agony of the “Bitter-Ex” Syndrome beware of revealing your baggage especially on a first date. The effect it has on finding romance is devastating. Only reveal what is relevant to the relationship you are seeking.

By the way, dating someone who has a lot of baggage is high on the complaint list for both women and men.

Before you begin dating, think long and hard about what you need from a relationship. The payoff is big. There is no Mr. or Ms. Right; no perfect mate. Relationships are something that must be worked on “all the time,” not only when they are broken and need to be fixed. It is wise to seek a partner who understands this concept and who will commit to work on the relationship with you.

It may be wise to suspend your expectations about how a partner “should” be and instead focus on what you need from a relationship. When it becomes obvious that someone you are dating cannot fulfill your needs, it time to shout, “Next!” and move on. The sooner the better.

Romance often carries a high risk of disappointment, however those singles savvy enough to predefine their needs and who are willing to take the time to prepare for love will most assuredly find it.

As long as you make yourself available to having a relationship, when you are ready for love it will find you.

Are you someone who “you” might like to spend the rest of your life with?

Copyright © 2008 - Larry James. This article is adapted from the foreword written by Larry James for the book, “Confessions of Shameless Dating: Using The Power Of Effective Self-Promotion To Attract The Right People” by Debbie Allen. Author Larry James presents seminars nationally for singles and couples. Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. - CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles listed in this BLOG are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.