The Art of Suave, Guest Author
Years of coaching and observing men interacting with women has helped us to identify many things that will instantly KILL a guy’s chance of continuing a conversation with a woman.
Don’t be a Sammy Shy Guy!
Today, I am going to talk about 5 key elements that can kill a conversation with women that you’re interested in. Whether your on a date or meeting for the first time, these are a must know.
1. Not using humor in your conversation.
We all like to laugh, right? We all enjoy the company of someone who can make us laugh?
When we laugh it makes us happy, gives us a sense of life and enjoyment, reminding us not to take everything so seriously. The fastest way to make a woman feel good and comfortable with you is to make her laugh. When a woman is bored and not enjoying herself, don’t be expecting anything special to happen from her side. I always tell my clients to this of it like a mirror. What ever you give is what you are going to get back. If you’re a positive, fun and outgoing guy, what do you think you will get back?
Without some form of humor, your conversation will seem very one-dimensional and limited. This is why it is a common desire for a woman to “want a guy who can make them laugh”.
2. Failing to listen.
This is critical. At this point, it is cliché to say, “You have to listen.” But, something so obvious is a very big problem for men, especially when they run out of things to say. The reason this happens is a failure to listen to the woman you are conversing with.
Guys who struggle to keep conversations going spend more time thinking about how the conversation is going and what to say, rather than listening to the woman. This prevents the guy from using his natural intelligence to come up with something ‘half decent’ to add to the conversation. When you talk with your family and friends, you listen to what they say right? And how easy is it to continue the conversation?
The best conversationalists listen to the other person and expand on what they have heard with questions, other related topics, and even jokes. These guys listen and then expand on the conversation, rather then being stuck in their head thinking what to say next. Women enjoy talking to someone who is actually listening to them.
3. Worrying about what she will think.
Typically a lot of guys who know they struggle with a conversation choose to say nothing to a woman rather than take the risk of possibly saying something that isn’t interesting. They complain that conversation is too hard and that women are difficult to talk to.
It is important to understand that women are difficult to talk to if you are speaking in the wrong way. One of the things that cause awkwardness is worrying what she will think of what you’re saying. Holding back when in a conversation because you are afraid of what a woman will think will only guarantee that she will not be interested in talking to you.
4. Being overly pleasant or too nice.
In the dating world women can sometimes perceive excessive flattery to be fake and an attempt at being nice. Remember that you should never try too hard to be nicer or more pleasant than you usually are when you talk to women. She will sense this and it will end up working against you.
5. Not flirting at all or enough
A man who doesn’t flirt with women will be seen as just a friend, never anything more. Flirting is not just a recommendation in conversations with women, it is essential!
Copyright © 2012 – The Art of Suave. The Art of Suave is a leading team of lifestyle and social dynamics coaches. Our goal is to help Australian men succeed when it comes to meeting and interacting with women through a series of PUA bootcamp and workshop experiences.
Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.
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1. Rejection. As with any sort of dating, fear of rejection is the most commonly held reason that people are afraid of online dating. Putting one’s self out there as available for dating, always raises a risk of being rejected, and few of us find that to be a pleasant experience.
4. Social Ostracism. This is another way of saying; “What if my friends find out I’m so desperate that I’m using an online service to find a dating partner?” The fear of being made fun of, or considered a loser, is a strong reason that some folks fear online dating.
10. No Good Ones Online. I’ve saved this one for last, as it truly is a myth. Some people are afraid that only losers and criminals and other really desperate types of folks are looking for companionship online. The truth is that you will find the same sort of people looking for dates on the internet as you will find anywhere else. Some good, some not so good, some that are awful, and some that are just like you.
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2. I love being with you. Don’t assume that she knows this, just because you’re together so much. She needs to know that you are with her because you enjoy being with her, and that it isn’t just habit or a feeling of obligation.
1. Tell her she’s sexy. Pay attention to the wording here. We didn’t use the word beautiful, gorgeous or pretty (although those are words women also like to hear). A woman wants to know that her man finds her sexually attractive. Anyone, male or female, could tell her she’s beautiful but if her husband or boyfriend really wants to make her glow, he’ll tell her how ‘hot’ she looks.
