It’s no secret that a breaking up is a painful process, no matter which side of it you’re on. Almost everything about it is miserable, but there are some things that are particularly hurtful; these ten things are among the worst parts of ending a relationship.
1. The Initial Conversation – Whether you knew the breakup was inevitable or were taken by surprise, the first discussion about ending a relationship is one of the most difficult. Hurt feelings can cause both parties to say things they’ll later regret, causing each other even more pain.
2. Separating Your Lives – Long-term relationships have a way of intertwining two lives so thoroughly that extricating yourself is a complicated and hurtful process. Sorting belongings, closing joint accounts and moving all hammer the point home; the finality of these necessary tasks can be heartbreaking.
3. Questions From Family and Friends – When family members and friends become accustomed to viewing a couple as a unit, it can be difficult to answer the inevitable questions. Being forced to explain the reasons behind a breakup to loved ones over and over can be wearing; watching mutual friends take sides and grow apart can often make things even worse.
4. Finding Forgotten Belongings – Stumbling over a forgotten piece of clothing or other left-behind belongings inevitably happens, especially if the couple shared a living space. The regrets and memories of happier times can almost be overwhelming in this situation.
5. Adjusting to Single Life – After creating a life with someone, their absence can be even more upsetting when it’s time to make adjustments to single-dom. Mundane tasks like eating dinner alone are often among the most depressing reminders of everything that has been lost.
6. Rumors and Gossip – Even the most well-meaning friends can’t resist the urge to pass along gossip and rumors about an ex; regardless of their truth, these second-hand news items can make an injured party even more unhappy.
7. Being Reminded Unexpectedly – Hearing a particular song on the radio or smelling your ex’s cologne on a stranger passing by can almost be devastating; being unprepared for the onslaught of memories that accompany these things often leaves a person bewildered, reliving the relationship and its painful end.
8. Accidentally Running Into One Another – Unless one half of a couple leaves town altogether, you will eventually bump into one another. The stunted conversation between two people who were once so close is heartbreaking in its awkwardness.
9. Finding Out That They’re Dating Someone New – Hearing that your ex is seeing someone else, especially if you haven’t been ready to date anyone yourself, can make you question the depth of their commitment and feelings for you.
10. Realizing That You Haven’t Moved On – There often comes a point, after a breakup, when you realize that you’ve been fooling yourself into thinking that you’ve moved on. Realizing that you’re still not quite over an ex can feel as if you’re reliving the breakup, going through it all over again.
Starting over after ending a long-term relationship is a challenge, and almost never happens quickly. Because moving on is a series of small and gradual changes, it can sometimes feel as if there will never be an end in sight. Patience and optimism is key; by taking things one day at a time and realizing that the pain won’t last forever, you might find yourself ready to face the world sooner than you expect.
Copyright © 2012 – www.BestDatingSites.org. Reprinted with permission.
Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.
Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com
NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.
Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Author and Speakers BLOG” at: http://AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.wordpress.com
“Make good sense of a bad relationship by examining it as a reflection of your beliefs about yourself. Don’t just run away from a bad relationship; you’ll only repeat it with the next partner. Use it as a mirror to look at yourself, to understand what in you is creating this relationship. Change yourself before you change your relationship.” ~ Hara Estroff Marano, Editor at Large of 
If you are running away from a relationship where there was once a lot of love, you are a coward if you don’t at least seek to understand what caused the problem and agree to work on it together or with a relationship coach. Part of the problem is that often we feel hopeless – that there is no use trying – because instead of heeding the warning signs (and there are ALWAYS warning signs) we wait until it’s too late and both partners give up. 
There will be times when you are less aware of your loving feelings, more into your own interests, perhaps things have even become a little selfish and routine. Notice when this happens. Those are the times to remember all the wonderful things you have done together, and still want to do. Remind yourself of all the wonderful qualities he or she possesses that made you fall in love in the first place. Remember, your wants and needs are just as important as your partners. If you give nothing of yourself, then you’ll get nothing in return. Never stop doing the things that brought you together in the first place.
“More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.” ~ Romans 5:3-4
There are many things you can do that will help you save your marriage and make it stronger. You both have to be willing to make the effort to sit down and calmly talk about your relationship issues or with the aid of a relationship coach.
A good way to do that is attending relationship seminars and reading good relationship books. Doing so may may prevent your relationship from crashing and burning. A serious relationship takes major work and commitment. 
2. Your partner continues to talk about their previous partner. If your partner is always talking about their previous partner, even if it’s in a negative way, then that other person is obviously still on their mind in a big way. Chances are that they’ll get back together with them if they are given the opportunity. At the very least, you are only a secondary option in their mind.
The hardest part of coming out of a slump is that you both have to acknowledge you are in one. You cannot solve a problem that you cannot admit you have.
Investing your time in working together a little each day on a few carefully selected “Slump Busters” will pay off handsomely in your relationship. 
No one that can change your life for the better but you!
Spend time working on you. Work on developing your own self as an individual. The one you are with is you! Reinvent a relationship with yourself. Make it a new and exciting relationship; one you can be proud to carry over into your next relationship with someone else. Nobody wants damaged goods.
