Mary Edwards, Guest Author
For many men, what women want from a relationship with a man remains a mystery. Often times, even after many years of marriage, the husband will still confess his confusion as too what his wife expects or desires from him as her mate. Men and women, generally speaking, communicate in very different ways.
Therein lies the core to the problem. She says one thing and he interprets it differently. In the following listing, we will try to communicate those things women most want from the men in their lives in terms that can be easily translated by those of the male gender.
1. Tell her she’s sexy. Pay attention to the wording here. We didn’t use the word beautiful, gorgeous or pretty (although those are words women also like to hear). A woman wants to know that her man finds her sexually attractive. Anyone, male or female, could tell her she’s beautiful but if her husband or boyfriend really wants to make her glow, he’ll tell her how ‘hot’ she looks.
2. Provide a empathetic ear. One of the common mistakes a man can make is when the woman begins telling him about something that is upsetting her or concerns her. Often times, the man assumes that she is sharing this information with him in a desire for him to provide her advice or solutions to the problem. However, the woman is usually not looking for or wanting his advice. What she is wanting is empathy. It is therapeutic for her to simply talk through the situation with someone willing to listen and empathize with her concerns.
3. Give her a helping hand. Whether it’s helping clean up the house for company, helping get the kids ready for school or washing her car for her, providing a helping hand when she is stressed out with too much to do, will always be appreciated. Quickly assisting when she asks is a good thing but if you want to earn even more brownie points, offer to help BEFORE she asks.
4. Pride in her accomplishments. Tell her you’re proud of her accomplishments. Whether it’s her cooking talents, her achievements at work, her natural talents of creativity or her parenting, let her know that you’ve noticed. And don’t forget: a little bragging on her in the midst of friends and family for these accomplishments and talents will emphasize the sincerity of your praise.
5. Give a gift of your time. This may seem like a no-brainer, but it is actually one of the desires of a woman that is most easily overlooked. Taking a walk together, watching a movie together or accompanying her on a errand, communicates your enjoyment of her company. When you choose to give up your own plans to be with her, it can further reinforce that message of appreciation for her company.
6. Strength of Character. A woman wants a man she can respect for his strength of character. Jerks are a dime a dozen. She wants the man she’s with to be someone who is respected by others for his honorable qualities. When a woman sees a man treating other people with respect and courtesy, he will gain her respect as well.
7. Treat her as an equal. The mistakes men make in this area can be found in two opposite directions. Some men treat women as ‘helpless females’ and assume they need to be taken care of like a father taking care of his daughter. Other men go to the other extreme and expect the woman to tell him what he should or should not do, filling a motherly role. Most women don’t want to fill either of those roles. They want to be an equal partner, not someone following behind or leading the way.
8. Thoughtful surprises. Again, pay attention to the wording here. The keyword is ‘thoughtful’. If she loves last minute guests, then, by all means, surprise her by bringing friends home for dinner. If this ‘surprise’ would be added stress for her at the end of the day, then surprising her with a dinner out might be more along the ‘thoughtful’ lines. If you’re not sure about a surprise you are planning, give her friends or sisters a call. Ask their advice. If they truly care about her, they’ll let you know if you’re on the right track. If you’re not, they might be able to give you some good ideas.
9. Physical affection. We’re not talking about sex here. Sex is generally thought of as beyond the realm of mere affection. What we are talking about is putting your arm around her, holding her hand or kissing her. Those simple light touches communicate very strongly to a woman’s heart.
10. Pay attention to details. Women want their men to notice the small things about them that make the statement, “I know her well.” Do you know what kind of restaurants she likes? Does she like roses or would she prefer a mixed flower bouquet? What is her favorite drink at the coffee shop? Noticing these little things communicate value to a woman’s heart.
The differences between men and women go beyond the physical to the emotional and relational areas of their lives. Learning to take a woman’s perspective into consideration can take a man a long way towards strengthening or improving his relationship with the woman in his life.
Copyright © 2011 – www.BestDatingSites.org. Reprinted with permission.
Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.
Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com
NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.
Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
It’s normal to look back on occasion but not healthy to stay stuck in the past. Focusing on regrets doesn’t help. As a matter of fact, it can stymie your future personal growth and keep you from the things you can experience right now. Mistakes will be forgiven, but only if there is a desire to change. The inability to let go of regrets, the guilt, shame, and pain that may have dominated the past is not emotionally healthy, and does not contribute anything positive to the present.
I know. It’s cliché, but today really is the first day of the rest of your life.
If you are in a relationship, make some new promises to yourself (and your partner); promises that will forward the action you need to take to make life and your relationship better. Tomorrow is going to happen whether you worry about it or not so stop worrying. Love more. Do something to enhance your own spirituality.
Relationship problems are shared problems. To manage the complexity of a stormy relationship you must accept responsibility for your share of the problem. When you can do that, the problem is half solved. Not only will this change you, it will change your relationship with your partner.
What you think about and speak about, you bring about. Want more of the problem? Keep thinking about the upset instead of seeking mutually beneficial solutions to it and refuse to change “YOUR” behavior. Rather than looking outside for the source of your problems, look inside for the source of your solutions.
It usually screams. . . Accountability!
Pay attention to your relationship! Give it your full attention. Then you will know. If you sense that something is not working the way you think it should. . . do something about it. Relationships require maintenance. They also require preventative maintenance; the kind that keeps you ahead of any problems or issues that may surface. 
STOP! Do something about it NOW. Some people wait until it’s too late. You cannot fix a problem that you cannot acknowledge. Blaming your partner for the problem doesn’t work. Where there are two people with a problem, it’s a shared problem. You both must take responsibility for the problem and promise to work together to do everything you can to get back on track.
We often do this when we first meet someone. If you are a guy, you show up as Mr. Clean; shoes shined, clean shaven, a dash of cologne and looking sharp. Most people are attracted to someone who is well groomed however, there is more to it than that. What do you communicate from your heart? Do you say what you feel needs to be said in a loving way?
No matter what their ages, histories or financial portfolios, the questions patients ask and the wishes they drop in my lap are heart-touchingly similar. It is likely their secret concerns echo yours. And knowing you are not alone in harboring these emotionally debilitating feelings can be a giant salve, a step toward healing.
Copyright © 2011 – Sherry Amatenstein. Relationship therapist Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW, author of “
