10 Ways to Simplify Your Life

1. Men need to grow up. Mama doesn’t live here anymore. Make notes to yourself. Remind yourself to take out the garbage and other things that will keep harmony in your relationship.

2. Go to bed by 9 p.m. at least one night each week. You won’t miss anything. AND you can spend some quality time with your partner and be more rested and ready to face the world again the following day.

3. Simplify your life by getting rid of relationships in your life that drain your energy. Develop some new relationships with people who help build you up, not bring you down.

4. Even though you are in a relationship, you must make time for you. Often people forget about taking care of themselves. They become so involved in the relationship they forget about #1. You owe it to yourself and life.

5. Be courageous. Be who YOU are. Stop trying to be someone you think someone else wants you to be. Stand up for who you are.

6. Learn to move past the “small stuff” fast. Don’t linger in the past with something that happened that you cannot change. Forgive if necessary and move on. Hanging on to anger, resentment, etc., is an energy drain. Life is too short. Take time to tell those you love how much you care each and everyday.

7. Stop complaining about things your partner does that annoy you. Instead catch them doing something right and offer a sincere compliment with a dash of love and perhaps a hug thrown in.

8. When things become stressful in your relationship, stop and take a deep breath. Pause. Relax. Ask yourself, “Will becoming more upset about this push me closer to what I want or further away?” Create something constructive to do to instead of becoming stuck in your negativity about the situation.

9. Let your partner catch you with a smile on your face. Be happy. Happiness is a wise choice. Happiness is contagious.

10. Design a quiet place to do some serious soul searching. Spend time alone. Think about what you can do to bring more quality to your relationships. Self connect. Who would you have to become and how would you have to do things differently for your life and your relationships to be a 10?

Copyright © 2007 - Larry James. Adapted from the book, “How to Really Love the One You’re With.”

NOTE: All articles listed in this BLOG are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

I Hate Snakes!

I was walking from my car to my home. My head was down. My eyes were watching where I was going. Suddenly, I felt fear. I almost stepped on a small snake. I hate snakes. Especially when I don’t know they are there.

My memory recognized a snake. I stopped. I looked closely. The two pieces of twisted straw looked very much like a small snake. At first glance, it really did look like a snake.

Then I realized that in order for me to think the two pieces of straw was a snake, I had to be able to remember what a snake looked like. The picture in my mind was so strong that my body almost went into panic.

You know. That feeling you get in your stomach when, while driving, someone cuts in front of you and in a milisecond your foot is on the break. You know the feeling, the feeling of fear. The fear I felt was very real. And there was no snake. Only two small, twisted pieces of straw.

Our memory trigger visions for our imagination. Then our imagination makes it real. So real, in fact, that our body doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is not. When it manufactures fear, our involuntary responses go into action. You feel a rush. You are not in control anymore. Whatever it is, you so south. . . you check out and it takes over.

Fear is a powerful thing. And we make it up! Fear is false evidence appearing real. Fear doesn’t come from out there. It comes from us. . . from within. Often it is involuntary, as in the case of the twisted straws. Sometimes it is voluntary. Sometimes we would rather make up something that keeps fear in place than to boldly step forward, with the first step firmly smashing our fear.

Why do we do this? Often it is to avoid the responsibility of doing what we know must be done. Sometimes it is because we are so afraid, the fear immobilizes us. It freezes us in our tracks.

Think about it. Be honest with yourself. Look back and remember a time when your life was being controlled by fear and when you finally got the courage to do the thing that you feared, the thing wasn’t like you imagined it at all. Guess what? It is seldom ever is as bad as we make it up to be.

When you do the thing you fear to do the most, the death of fear is certain.

Copyright © 2007 - Larry James. Adapted from the book, “How to Really Love the One You’re With.” Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE.

NOTE: All articles listed in this BLOG are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

There is no Second Place!

In healthy love relationships, there is no second place. There is no longer any need to have one of you be number one and one of you be number two. Healthy people share. In a healthy love relationship, generosity expresses itself generously. Love partners are not afraid to share the spotlight.

We need to give up the idea of having to have any one of the two people who make up a relationship be subservient or number two. This idea takes some work because many people believe that one should be over the other. This is a bad idea.

When two people really love each other, they are not afraid to be their love partner’s equal. Two people, each number one to each other and to the relationship, working together on similar things and accepting mutual responsibility when things are good and also when things are not so good, can only empower the relationship.

You give “of” yourself to the other. You never give “up” yourself to the other.

When you are both number one, no one ever has to worry about competition in the relationship. You never have to worry about oneupsmanship. When two people work together, they can accomplish more. It’s the power of two working together as one.

If you want to experience a sense of revival in your relationships you must consistently push toward a state of continuing to be revived.

It is a do-it-yourself project.

Copyright © 2007 - Larry James. Adapted from the book, “How to Really Love the One You’re With.” Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE.

NOTE: All articles listed in this BLOG are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.